Bent low over Ferron’s neck, he scanned the small area he could see in front of him, terrified that if she had fallen, he would miss her or, worse, trample her. Then he heard the soft thud of hooves and felt a surge of short-lived relief. It was Arya but the horse was riderless and panicked, lathered in sweat, eyes rolling, and he cursed as he managed to grab the bridle and secured her reins to Ferron’s saddle. Soothed and calmed whilst inside terror raged.
Where was she? Lying somewhere injured, hurt or... No! He would find her. Had to find her. Tell her that he loved her. Fear churned deep and cold—the idea that he wouldn’t be given a chance to tell her he loved her, say the words, that he might lose Gabi, his love, his wife, his life, brought a chill sheen of moisture to his skin.
He rode on, tried to quell the rise of fear. And then out of the corner of his eye he saw something, a flicker of colour through the dense snowfall. He squinted, rode towards where he thought he’d seen it, recognised it as a scarf, a bright red woollen scarf tied around the branch of a tree. It was one of Gabi’s and hope surged, along with thankfulness for her resourcefulness.
On and on they trudged, until eventually he made it to the tree, looked around, and there she was. She was scrunched in a ball; he could see that she had tried to dig out a snow cave for warmth, an action that could undoubtedly have saved her. He dismounted, tethered the horses to a tree and dropped down next to her.
‘Gabriella.’ His heart stopped; she lay so still, her eyes closed, her face frosted and pale and so, so cold. Worse, there was a trickle of blood on her forehead. ‘Gabriella.’
Then her eyes fluttered open and she breathed his name.
‘Yes, it’s me. It is going to be all right. I love you, Gabi. I love you.’ As he uttered the words over and over again,
he lifted her up, assessed her situation quickly. Thankfully her clothing was warm, but it looked as though she’d tumbled off Arya. The forehead wound was superficial but he wasn’t sure if anything else had been broken.
‘Here.’ He pulled out the thermos he had brought with him and held the drink to her lips. As if the smell of the hot tea woke her, she opened her eyes, looked up at him. ‘Did you say you loved me?’ Her smile was so sweet, so happy, she took his breath away.
‘Yes, I did.’
‘Good.’ She sipped the tea. ‘I love you too. Now I think I’ll go to sleep.’
‘No, Gabi. Not yet. You need to come home. With me.’ She loved him. The words soared through him and he dampened the joy. Not now. The words could simply be born of delirium and either way his priority now was to get her home.
Somehow, by dint of coaxing and lifting, he managed to get them both up onto Ferron. Gabi, half-awake now, tried to help, but she was hampered by a twisted ankle and the fact that the cold had seeped through to her very bones.
‘I love you,’ he murmured again, the words so tender and so true and so blindingly obvious. He needed her to hear them, hoped she would remember them, but knew, if she didn’t, he’d have the rest of his life to tell her.
But right now, as they set off on their journey back, Arya in tow, he wanted to say it all.
‘I love your smile, your courage, your bravery. Love how much you care about books and literacy and your family. I love the way you frown. I love the way you have taken on your new role, your new family. I love that you have shown me that it is OK to risk my heart; I will do everything I can not to hurt you, or lose you. But if you can’t love me, I’ll accept that and, yes, it will hurt, but I still wouldn’t change loving you. You’ve made me look inside myself. Made me realise that I can be more than a superficial person. It’s good to make the best of things but sometimes you have to do more than that. You have to put yourself out there. And from now on I will. I want to do more for the causes I believe in. I also love your courage, the way you laugh, your inner beauty and your outer beauty, the way you lose yourself in a book. You make me happy, Gabi, and I love you with all my heart.’
Finally, they approached the castle, and he helped Gabriella off Ferron next to the stables, calling for the stable hands to take care of the horses, then gathered her into his arms, carried her across the courtyard and over the threshold. And as he did so she looked up at him and there was that beautiful smile again. ‘I was hoping to be carried over the threshold,’ she murmured.
Once inside he laid her gently on the sofa; soon he had a roaring fire going and then he ran upstairs and brought her down a change of clothes. On his return she was sitting up and she smiled at him, a small shy smile.
‘Will you be OK if I go and make us some cocoa?’
She nodded. ‘I’m feeling much better, now I’ve warmed up.’
‘Then I’ll be back in five.’
* * *
Gabi changed swiftly. The warmth had begun to permeate to her freezing limbs and extremities and her mind now buzzed. Had he meant all those beautiful words? Could he love her? Could he? What if he had just said it to get her through, keep her alert, awake. Surely not, and she allowed a tendril of joy to spread. Until another doubt raised its head. What if she’d imagined it all? Hallucinated the entire event?
She settled on the sofa, waited for Cesar to come back, stared into the leap and swirl of the red orange flames. Tried to read the future, hoped and hoped and hoped that his words had been real and true. Shyness, anticipation and hope vied with each other and her heart hop-skip-jumped and flipped as he came in.
‘Is it true?’ she blurted out. ‘Everything you said?’
‘Every word.’
‘And Amelia?’
‘I swear to you, Gabi, I give you my word I did not love Amelia. I have never loved any woman until you. Please believe me.’
‘I do.’ It was impossible not to. This man would not lie to her; sincerity blazed from his eyes and in that instant the memory of Amelia Scott-Browne was cast into oblivion.
‘And... Gabi?’ His unusual hesitation made her look at him closely. ‘And you? Did you mean what you said? That you love me?’ There was a wonder and a vulnerability in his voice that brought tears to the backs of her eyes.