‘Dad went nuts, and I took his side. I told her I wouldn’t go, that I’d run away, quit school, that my dad would die without her and it would be her fault. I said so many things and in the end she stayed. For me.’ His voice was bleak.
‘You were a child. You loved your dad. What you did wasn’t wrong. If your mother chose to stay with your dad that was her choice to make. It was not your responsibility.’
‘I was still the reason she stayed. The reason she and John lost years of happiness and my mum gained years of misery. John met someone else, got married, had Max and Mum was devastated. It didn’t work out because he’d never got over Mum. He and his wife got divorced and he got custody of Max.’
‘But obviously they did reconnect.’
‘Yes. When I joined the army Mum did finally leave Dad. A couple of years later she and John started talking again and very soon after that they got married.’
‘That’s a good thing.’
‘Yes. It is. It’s a wonderful thing and I am truly happy for them.’
Now her gaze held an awareness, an understanding that he didn’t want. ‘And you don’t want to spoil it?’
‘Yes... No. I don’t want to intrude on it.’
‘You wouldn’t be. They like you. Your mum loves you. I could see all that.’
‘In one visit?’ He made no effort to hide his scepticism.
‘Yes. I know what it feels like to have siblings who aren’t accessible. Max looks up to you. I bet he’d love to have a hands-on older brother like you. You heard him when he was talking about the army. And joining the reserves. You’re his stepbrother. Do something about it. Stop being scared. I know I’m right. They wouldn’t feel you were intruding, they’d welcome you in. It’s your family unit.’
For a moment her words slipped past all the barricades and guards, probed into a place he had blocked off long ago. He wondered what it would be like to be part of it, to fit in. Emotions dipped and waved. Envy? Sadness? Regret? Who knew? All he did know was that he didn’t want to feel any of those emotions. Couldn’t take the risk. Ava was right—he was scared. It was too easy to get it wrong. What if he encouraged Max to join the army and, God forbid, something happened to him? What if he somehow offended John and his mum had to take sides? Too many worst-case scenarios and he knew the best way forward was to make sure none of them were possible.
‘Thank you for the advice, and I mean that. But I’m not a family kind of guy and I know they are happy, I know my mum is happy and that’s what’s most important to me. I’m not going to mess with the status quo. Because it’s a good one.’ He took a deep breath. ‘But that doesn’t mean you should do the same.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Luca and Jodi—maybe you should try a different approach. Why don’t you contact them direct rather than go through lawyers? Pick up the phone, leave messages, use social media. Talk to them.’
He wondered if his words even registered. Her head was shaking a denial before he’d even finished. ‘I can’t do that. The lawyers would have my guts for garters and my mum—I couldn’t do that to her. She is already furious with me because I haven’t tried to get the will overturned. She wants them out of our lives. I won’t add to her sense of betrayal by doing something that would be a complete et tu, Brute? moment.’ She rose to her feet, gave him a smile. ‘Truly, it’s better left.’
He knew the smile to be fake and the words to be wrong but what could he say? After all, wasn’t her argument the exact one he’d advocated himself? It’s better left. Conversations like this one tilted his ordered world, ones that reminded him exactly why relationships were a bad idea.
‘Come on. I’ll get y
ou home.’
‘Thank you. I’ll post some photos on social media tonight. And I think from now on we need to be seen out and about a lot more. Dinners, parties, social events. I’ll get it all set up.’
The business-like tone was exactly what he needed to hear.
CHAPTER TWELVE
LIAM OPENED HIS eyes the following morning, aware that he’d slept badly, but unsure why. In theory it should have been nice to have his own space, to know he could return to his regular routine for a few hours. There was an element of that, but he was also aware of a sense that something was missing over his solitary bowl of cereal. Or someone.
Ridiculous.
Yet that afternoon when his phone buzzed and Ava’s name flashed on the screen he felt a sense of anticipation as he snatched it up.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey. My mum called. She’d like to meet you.’
‘Any particular reason?’
‘I’m not sure.’ Her voice was guarded. ‘But it’s probably better to go and see—we don’t want any surprises. I thought we could go on to dinner after. I’ve booked us a table at Muscat—it’s showy but not too showy. We’ve had a lot of hits on my social media post and there is a definite level of interest.’