‘And now?’ Breath held, she clutched the back of the sofa and tried not to allow a tendril of hope to grow.
‘Now I do have something to offer you: my love. My unconditional, absolute love. If you want it.’
His voice was small and Sarah’s heart turned over, clenched with deep love and understanding. There was a hint of fear in this strong man’s voice. As if he were afraid his love wasn’t worth having.
And no wonder. All his life he’d had so much love to offer and no one had wanted it. Apart from his mother, and even then he’d felt his love wasn’t enough to compensate her for what she’d lost. His birth father hadn’t wanted him, and his supposed father and his half-siblings had stopped loving him, had flipped the switch off.
Now she did vault the sofa, and then she ran straight into his arms, wrapping her own around him. ‘I do want your love. Because I love you too—more than you could imagine.’
His eyes widened and his arms tightened around her. ‘You love me?’
‘Yes, I do. With all my heart. You’ve made me see that it is possible—you’ve made me come alive. Ever since Imo died I’ve felt such guilt... I’ve been scared to live. I felt I didn’t deserve it. Why should I get all the chances she will never have? But you’ve made me see it doesn’t work like that. You seized life, decided to make it worth something. I want to do that too. I don’t want to stay under the radar, scared to tempt fate. I want to live—to show Jodie that life is fun and vibrant. I want to love you and be loved by you.’
‘You are loved by me and you always will be. And I swear to you, Sarah, I will be as good a dad to Jodie as it’s possible to be. She’s already in my heart.’
‘And you’re in hers. I know you would never let her down.’
‘I understand that we’ll need to take things slowly, for Jodie’s sake, while she gets to know me better. We’ll play it however you want.’
‘Thank you.’ She tugged him down onto the sofa; snuggled into him, let joy wash over her. ‘What made you change your mind?’ she asked.
‘You. You changed me. Just by being you. Ever since you came into my office you’ve changed me for the better. You’ve shown me that money can’t buy happiness, and you’ve shown me that emotions are a good thing. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to confide in you, to share my emotions with you, to be there for you no matter what. I didn’t just want to have fun—you showed me that there’s way more to a relationship than that. You changed the rules...you made me realise that a relationship doesn’t have to end in mess and chaos just because I am a part of it.’
He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.
‘I even contacted my half-brothers because you made me see that it was worth the emotional risk.’
She stilled, knowing what courage that must have taken. ‘What happened?’
‘It’s early days but we’re talking. It’s painful, but it’s also life-affirming, and I think maybe, possibly, one day we’ll have some sort of connection. Maybe more.’
‘Your mum must be excited.’
‘Very—and I’m hoping that my new communication with my brothers will help nurture her reconciliation with them too.’ His arm still around her, he shifted slightly to study Sarah’s face. ‘How’s it going with your dad? When I last saw Jodie she mentioned him, so I’m guessing you did go and see him.’
‘I did, and I’m very glad I did. I’m seeing him regularly now, and each time we get a little further. We’re talking honestly, and slowly we’re making a new bond—a different bond but a strong one. I’m taking Jodie to meet him next week and I’m not sure who’s more excited. Her or him. Or me,’ she added.
‘I’m glad,’ he said softly.
‘A lot of it is thanks to you. You made me face up to the past, forgive myself for my bad choices and not take responsibility for my dad’s. You made me let my red hair down. Now when I look in the mirror I see me and I remember Imo. You’ve truly changed my life. You’ve made me want to live it to the full, not settle for barely enough.’
‘And you’ve changed mine.’ He grinned down at her. ‘You’ve saved me from a life of lonely old age.’
‘I don’t recall that you were planning on being lonely!’
‘No. But I would have been. Because I wouldn’t have had you by my side. To cuddle up with on the sofa in front of a film and to wine and dine in luxurious restaurants. To support you in sickness and in health. My soul mate. The person who showed me that my love is worth something.’
Sarah’s arms tightened round him. ‘Your love is worth the world to me.’ She sighed. ‘I am so happy. So ridiculously happy.’
‘So am I. You and me... The best choice we ever made.’
And then he was kissing her. And it was a kiss that filled her with rightness and joy and exhilaration.
EPILOGUE
Six months later
SARAH PULLED HER cardigan a little tighter around her in the spring breeze as she exited the tube station and set off towards the London market where she had arranged to meet Ben.