He looked at Dimitri as he restructured his facial muscles and closed his skin. If it hadn’t been for Dimitri, Gulnar would have come tomorrow on her usual morning visit to find Dante gone. He would have walked away with minimal regret, minimal scars. At least compared to now.
Now walking away from her would do more than scar him. Still, it was far better than what he’d suffer if he stayed.
What he’d make her suffer.
CHAPTER NINE
“DON’T you think I’ve suffered enough?”
Gulnar leaned back against a column in the scrubbing-gowning hall, struggling with the pain clamping her whole body.
Dimitri’s nurse and anesthetist finished scrubbing for yet another procedure and cast another glance at her and Dante on their way out.
“What are you talking about, Gulnar?” His eyes darted to hers in the murky mirror above the wall-to-wall sink then darted away instantly.
“You’re leaving me in suspense and it’s killing me. Why don’t you tell me what you are doing, Dante?”
“I’m dead on my feet, that’s what I’m doing.”
This wasn’t exhaustion. She didn’t know what it was or why. She didn’t understand why he’d shut her out so completely, so suddenly. And she didn’t have to. Didn’t have time to. For whatever reason, he was just ending their liaison now, and not tomorrow. Tomorrow…
Knowing he intended to leave tomorrow had changed everything. When she’d thought she still had time with him, in any form, she’d laid off, given him his space, left it up to him to conduct their relationship. Even when he’d told her he’d return to the US as soon as he was healed, she’d still thought she had at least a month with him. But she had no more time and she had to be with him those last hours. She had to have tonight!
And he was pushing her away.
It hurt and humiliated her. It confused her and made her want to curl up in the dark and never rise again. But it didn’t matter. Nothing did. She had to have those hours.
“Gulnar, not only am I dead on my feet—”
“So let’s get out of here. Let me take you away, you can rest and sleep—”
A harsh bark erupted from him. “Sleep? You think we’d sleep?”
“We’ll do anything you want. I did promise anything before and I still do. Anything and everything we want. If you want to sleep, I want to hold you while you sleep.”
He held up his hands and squeezed his eyes, an exasperated order for her to stop! “Gulnar, I’m walking out of here and checking into a hotel for the night. Then first thing in the morning I’m leaving. I’m never coming back. Do you understand this? You want a lover? It isn’t me. There. That’s your answer. Satisfied?”
“No. It doesn’t make a difference, you leaving, not to me. And if you ever come back—”
“I won’t. You’ve got to believe that.”
Oh, she believed it. It was why she was desperate, why this was possible. “Then I want tonight, Dante. Don’t you want it, too?”
His simmering sidelong glance said he did. But, then, he would want any female who stood there begging for anything with him.
Fine. She didn’t expect an exclusive relationship. Wouldn’t know what to do with one if she had one. Didn’t want one.
She just wanted tonight.
He turned from her, bent down to lower his head to the sink. He held his breath and let cool water pour over his head.
The sight of water sluicing over his polished bronze skull thudded in her heart, behind her eyes, in her loins. An endless minute later, he straightened to his full height, water rivulets running down his head and neck, merging with the sweat darkening the green of his surgical scrubs.
Suddenly the space between them had disappeared.
“Gulnar…” His arms moved to push her away and convulsed around her instead, squashing her into his body. She melted immediately. The next second, he exploded away in disgust. “Dammit, Gulnar. Don’t do that to me—not now.”
“Later, then? My place? Your hotel?” Say yes. Promise me tonight.