His mother had been deprived of her daughter—her pride and joy. For an instant the image of Tanya’s lifeless body assaulted his brain. His sister—driven to take her own life. And he hadn’t known—hadn’t been able to protect her.
His mother had been left with him, her son, a mirror image of her violent criminal husband. The son she had never been able to love but had done her duty by. Until he’d driven her to snap point and she’d washed her hands of him.
For a split second the memory of the packed case and the hand-over to social services jarred his brain. No fault of hers—in her eyes he’d been on the road to following his father’s footsteps. His impassioned pleas for forgiveness and promises to reform would have simply been further shades of the man she despised.
Ethan shut down the thought process and concentrated on Ruby’s face. Those sapphire eyes, delicate features and that determined chin. Her expression of challenge had morphed into one of concern and he forced his vocal cords into action and his face into neutral.
‘There is nothing wrong with wanting children. I just think you need to give single parenthood a lot of thought and not enter the whole venture with rose-coloured spectacles. That’s all.’
End of subject, and Ethan picked up his knife and fork and started to eat.
Ruby twirled a tendril of hair around her finger. ‘What about you? Where do you stand on the venture into parenthood? Don’t you hope for a family one day?’
‘No.’
The idea of a family was enough to bring him out in hives. Family had brought him nothing except a one-way channel to loss, heartbreak and rejection. So what was the point?
‘Never?’ Surprise laced her tone.
‘No.’ Perhaps monosyllables would indicate to Ruby that this wasn’t a topic he wished to pursue.
‘Why not?’
Clearly the indirect approach hadn’t worked—so it was time to make it clear.
‘That’s my personal choice.’
Hurt mingled with anger flashed across her features. Fair enough, Ethan. He’d been mighty fine with a personal conversation when it was her personal life under discussion.
‘In brief, it’s not what I want. Like you. I’ve worked hard to get to where I am and I don’t want to rock the boat. I’m exactly where I want to be. And I know exactly where I’m going.’
‘Isn’t that a bit boring? I mean, will that be your life for ever? Buy another property...set up another venture? What happens when you run out of countries?’
Ethan blinked at the barrage of questions. ‘Boring? I run a global business, travel the world on a daily basis, have more than enough money and a pretty nifty lifestyle. So, nope. Not humdrum.’
‘But...’ A shake of her head and she turned her attention back to her plate.
Following suit, he took another mouthful, tried to appreciate the delicacy of the truffles, the infusion of port, the tenderness of the meat. To his own irritation he couldn’t let it
go.
‘But what?’
Her shoulders lifted and for a second his gaze lingered on the creamy skin, the enticing hint of cleavage.
‘That world of yours—that non-rocking boat of yours—only contains you, and that sounds lonely. Unless you’re in a relationship that you haven’t mentioned?’
‘Nope. It’s a one-man vessel and I’m good with that.’
‘So you don’t want a long-term relationship or kids? Ever?’
‘I don’t want any type of relationship. Full stop. I make sure my...my liaisons are brief.’ Like a night—a weekend, tops.
Ruby’s eyed widened and his exasperation escalated as he identified compassion in her.
‘But you’ve worked so hard to build up Caversham. What’s the point if you don’t have someone to hand it over to?’
‘That’s hardly a reason to have a child.’