Ruby picked up her mug and cradled it. ‘You know what she told me?’
Ethan shook his head. His chest panged at the pain sketched on Ruby’s features.
‘She told me she wished there had been repercussions. That if she’d ended up inside it would have been better for her than her life now.’
Ruby’s voice was sad and heavy with knowledge.
‘I don’t blame her for having that knife. Her home life makes mine look like a picnic in the park. Her dad is a violent loser and she is so damaged no carer can cope. That’s why she’s in a residential home. That’s why she reacted to Max like that—he was in her space and she panicked. Oddly enough after the incident Max tried to befriend her.’ She glanced at him. ‘Your doing?’
‘I did talk to him.’ He had tried to tell him there were other ways—told him that there were consequences to actions.
‘That’s fab, Ethan. Maybe they can help each other. I hope they’ll all come back in September. Once they let their guard down they were all so full of potential—I mean, did you see them after surfing? They had a blast.’
So had he. All the teenagers had been stoked to be in the water and he’d watched them—some of them carbon copies of himself and Rafael. Tough...so tough...and always out to prove it. Because if they didn’t there was the fear of being taken down. All swagger, all bravado—but up against the waves, up against the spray and the sea salt, they had met an element stronger than themselves that they could challenge with impunity. And they’d loved it. Enough, he hoped, to incentivise them to keep out of trouble until September.
A soft sigh escaped her lips. ‘I wish... I wish I could help. Take them all in and house the lot of them.’ She placed her empty plate down with a thunk. ‘Maybe one day I will. No—not maybe. Definitely.’
‘How are you going to do that?’
Her chin tilted. ‘I’m going to adopt,’ she said. ‘That’s my single parenthood plan.’
Maybe it shouldn’t surprise him—after all, Ruby had been in care and he understood why she would want to help children like the child she had been. Hey, he wanted to do that. But adoption by herself...
Her eyes narrowed. ‘You don’t think it’s a good plan?’
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘Then what? You think I can’t hack it?’
‘I didn’t say that either.’
‘Then say something. What do you think?’
‘I think it’s a very, very big thing to take on.’ He raised a hand. ‘I’m not saying you couldn’t do it. I think you would be a fantastic person for any kid to have in their lives.’ And he meant that—he’d seen the way she’d interacted with all the kids, seen her capacity for care and love. ‘But taking on older children... It’s a huge commitment—especially on your own.’
‘I know that.’
There was no uncertainty in her voice and he couldn’t help but wonder at the depth of her need to do this even as he admired her confidence in herself. The idea of anybody—let alone a child...let alone a child who had already been through the system—being dependent on him for their well-being made his veins freeze over. To those kids Ruby would be their salvation, and he knew that saving wasn’t part of his make-up.
But concern still niggled. ‘You said you’d decided on single parenthood because you can’t pick good father material. Don’t you think you should rethink that strategy?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean why not open yourself up to the idea of a relationship? Find a man who will support you emotionally and be a great father to your family. You’re too young to give up on having love and a family.’
‘You have,’ she pointed out.
‘That’s because I don’t want love or a family. You
can’t give up on something you’ve never wanted in the first place. You do want love—you’d never have been sucked in by Hugh or those other two losers otherwise.’
‘See?’ Tucking her legs beneath her, she jabbed her finger at him. ‘That’s exactly it. Three out of three losers. That’s a one hundred per cent miss rate. I can’t risk what is most important to me—having a family—by taking a side quest for love. Plus, if I pick wrong it could have a terrible effect on any children. I need to stay focused on my ultimate goal. I thought you of all people would get that. You want Caversham world domination and I want children. I won’t be sidelined by anything else.’
Well, what could he say to that?
‘I can see the “but” written all over your face, Ethan. I know it will be tough but it will be incredibly worthwhile.’ The finality in her tone suggested that any argument would be futile. ‘Like these past two days have been.’
‘Two days is one thing. A lifetime is another.’