‘Not here. We need to talk properly.’
She nodded. ‘There are loads of cafés round here. Or...’
‘It’s okay. I have it covered. Come on.’
Within seconds of leaving the lobby Rafael’s loaned car glided to a halt in front of them. The chauffeur climbed out and opened the car door for Ruby, who slid inside with a puzzled look.
‘Why didn’t you drive your own car?’ she asked.
‘Actually, Rafael lent me his helicopter, as well as Robert and this car, to meet me on arrival.’
‘You flew here from Cornwall?’ Her eyes widened and a half-laugh dropped from her lips. ‘Why?’
Ethan shrugged. ‘Impulse. I needed to see you. To apologise and...’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Apologise for what?’
Here goes.
Time to put himself on the line. Along with some emotional honesty. ‘For my reactions. I panicked. Just like I did ten years ago. I’ve been alone a long time; the only person who has ever got close has been you. Ten years ago I ran. I told myself I did it for you, because I could see that you had developed a misguided crush on me, but in reality I panicked.’
‘And this time?’ The question was soft, almost tentative.
Clenching his hands round his knees, he hauled in breath. ‘This time I don’t want to run, and I don’t want you to run. For ten years I have avoided emotion, locked it down because I associated emotion with bad choices, rejection and tragedy. I decided to channel my anger and use it to create momentum—to build Caversham into something bigger and bigger, to allow me to do good via charitable efforts.’
‘And you succeeded—you turned your life around.’
A twist of her body and she faced him now, her face illuminated in the dusky light of the limo’s interior, her cinnamon scent whirling in his head.
‘You should be proud of that.’
‘I am. But the whole time I have been scared of emotion, scared of rocking the boat, because I thought my whole new life would tumble down. These past few weeks you have shown me that doesn’t have to happen. With you I have run the gamut of emotions—each day I have felt more and more. Caring, desire, happiness, sympathy, a need to give and take comfort. You’ve unlocked something inside me. You’ve helped me remember Tanya as she deserves to be remembered—not just with bitterness and guilt, but with the memory of all the good she did in my life. You’ve let me look down the dark tunnels of the past and realise that along with the darkness there was also light. And there’s something else you did too...’
‘What?’
Her voice caught and fear and anticipation rollicked through him.
‘You taught me how to love. I love you, Ruby.’
For a heartbeat her expression registered no more than shock, and the fear escalated. What if she had changed her mind—realised that loving him was
foolhardy? Then he would change her mind if it took him his whole life to do it. Then her expression morphed into a smile that touched and warmed him as she launched herself across the limo seat and into his arms.
‘I love you too. So very, very much. And I swear to you it is nothing to do with a need to heal you. Because I don’t need to do that—I love you exactly as you are. You’re kind and generous and caring and stubborn and demanding and deep and complicated, and I love you for all those traits. You don’t need to change for me.’
She nestled onto his lap, her hands cupping his jaw, and he felt a thrill of happiness. This woman loved him, and he knew he was the luckiest man in the universe.
‘That realisation has been an epiphany for me. You see, all my life I have associated love with need. I wanted to be needed. My parents didn’t love me enough to change their lifestyles for me, so I equated someone loving me with them being willing to change for me. Because that would give me self-worth. You’ve taught me how to have self-worth all by myself. You’ve shown me how to be brave, to stand up for what is right, and you’ve taught me to risk again—to risk rejection, to risk pain, because sometimes that is the right thing to do. So you don’t have to change to prove your love or mine. I love you.’
‘And I love you.’
He could quite cheerfully have continued in this conversational vein all day. His heart gave a happy jump and his whole body fizzed with a joy he could barely believe.
The limo glided to a stop and he dropped a kiss on her lips. ‘Now that is sorted you need to come with me.’
‘Where to?’
‘Wait and see.’