She could do this—she would do this. And after tomorrow she need never ever go anywhere near water again unless it was in the safety of a bathroom.
‘Kaitlin?’
The deep voice from behind her lasered her body into immobility. It couldn’t be...
Forcing her feet to uproot themselves, she spun round and blinked at Daniel. ‘Daniel? What are you doing here?’
There was a frown on his face and his mouth was set to grim. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about this lesson?’
‘As far as I know I don’t have to account for every minute of my day with you. Where’s Matt?’
‘I told him I’d take the lesson.’
Oh, great! She really wasn’t sure she could deal with this overload of sensation. Panic at the proximity of the water battled with panic at the proximity of Daniel. The idea of the two combining made implosion viable.
One thing at a time, Kaitlin.
‘Why?’
‘I don’t want it to be awkward just because I misread the signals.’
His blue eyes met hers with an unreadable expression and in that instant she wondered if he believed her.
‘I thought if I took you out in the kayak it might ease things. But of course if you would prefer Matt I’ll call him.’
Now what?
Digging deep, she turned back to face the water—and realised that, like it or not, his presence made her feel safe.
‘If you’re sure you don’t mind, then let’s start this lesson.’
With a brief nod he retreated, returning with two brightly coloured kayaks that he took down to the water’s edge.
‘OK. So here’s what you need to know before we start...’
His words were concise and easy to understand as he explained safety procedures and helped her into a life jacket. But as they edged nearer to the moment where she would actually have to go into the boat on the water it became harder and harder to concentrate as she fought back fear and kept it at bay.
‘Are you ready?’
‘Sure.’ If she didn’t count clammy skin and leaden limbs. ‘Just a bit nervous about actually getting into the kayak.’
The bright red-trimmed boat looked ridiculously small and outrageously fragile as it bobbed up and down.
‘That can be one of the trickiest things. Don’t forget what I said about bending your knees deeply, so you can get into a good low squat. That way your centre of gravity is low and you achieve stability. I’ll go first and you watch.’
As he squatted down her gaze couldn’t help but be snagged on the sheer strength of his torso, the power of his thighs, and for a welcome instant appreciation cut clean through her anxiety for enough precious seconds that she could manage to follow suit once he was in.
There. She was in the kayak and it would keep her afloat as long as she could focus on Daniel’s instructions.
The best way to do that was to imagine the water away, fantasise that she was in the gym and focus on Daniel’s tuition about how to grasp the paddle, the angle of manoeuvre, the different techniques of bracing, rolling, turning... All verbs that her tummy took as instruction even as she exerted every bit of Lady Kaitlin to demonstrate not an iota of her inner chaos.
‘Brilliant! There you go. You’re a natural.’
The reassurance of his voice allowed her to focus on getting through. If she didn’t look at the water...if she continued the pretence that she was on a rowing machine and concentrated on the movement of the paddle...
Twenty minutes later a sudden cautious thrill of pride shot through her, and the unfamiliar feeling caught her by surprise. When was the last time she’d felt proud of herself or stepped out of her comfort zone?
For one treacherous second she revelled in the feeling and forgot the whole pretence that she was safely ensconced in a gym in Chelsea. The scenery flashed into view: the shoreline in the distance, the expanse of the canal around her, the tug of the current that rocked the boat as she lost the paddle’s rhythm...