“Scary,” I say, taking the bottle. The second sip goes down easier.
She sighs. “Nothing scarier than running your own life. Whatever shall we do when we’re not told what to think or when to eat or sleep? In my opinion, college doesn’t really give you all that much freedom.”
“I disagree by circumstance, I have three sisters, remember? Trust me, this is freedom.”
I can feel her smile as she lays back to look up into the vast nothingness above.
“I still live at home, so I guess that’s my issue.”
“You grew up here?”
“Yeah. Well, in Polk. It’s a small community on the outskirts. And I mean small. I’m leaving when I graduate. At least for a little while.”
“Where are you going?”
“Not sure yet.”
Silence follows before she speaks up.
“So, why did you do it?”
“I don’t know,” I say through a frustrated groan. “Guess I felt like at this point I needed to get it over with because I’d waited long enough.”
“Mission accomplished. Look, if it makes you feel any better my first time sucked too. And my second. Sex doesn’t get good until you practice with someone you have real chemistry with. It stays awkward until you get a sense of what the hell to do.”
“Yeah. I get that. But at this point, I’ve pretty-much mastered foreplay. Trust me when I say abstinence does not a saint make.”
“Then you’ve mastered sex already, at least from a woman’s perspective.”
“Good to know.”
“Huh,” she says so low I can barely hear her.
“What?”
“I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but how good can you be if you didn’t seal the deal with the ex?”
“Ouch.”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“Point taken. But in my defense, she always got off. Always. And more than once.”
“And you?”
“Rarely.”
“So, she was selfish.”
“Very. I was too passive with her. Catered too much. I know that now.”
“You were a stepping-stone.”
“Yeah, well, I like to think I killed that guy.”
“Good on ya.”
We settle into a comfortable silence that only two drunk strangers could manage.