She, at least, has the gumption to look remorseful. “Sorry, but you did.”
“I don’t even remember.”
“Right after graduation.”
“Fine, well, I’m turning over a new leaf. I’m done with Batman.”
“What?”
“It’s a syndrome. A type. I’m done.”
“Oh, this should be good.” She swivels in her seat to face me.
“I’m serious.”
“Oh, I believe you believe it.”
“Think about it, Batman is the booty call superhero. Sexy-half face, looks amazin’ in the uniform, BUT, he only answers to the signal, at night. He never takes off his mask and only reveals his true colors once he’s already bedded the girl. I’ve been dating nothing but Batmen.”
“You’re unreal, you know that? You’ve spent real time thinking about this, haven’t you?”
“I really have, and my tastes are changing, my friend.”
“What’s the new one look like?”
“Theo? A little taller than me, lean build, ear length brown hair, brown eyes, trimmed beard. Adorable.”
She smirks. “Scrawny.”
“No, he’s not,” I defend. “Not at all. He’s just right.”
“You like him?”
“I do, but not that way. I don’t think. He’s not my type really, but you know he’s…appealing. Fun to talk to. We met and just clicked. I talk to him like I do you. Put it like this, if there were a family-sized bag of Doritos in the room, I would eat the whole thing in front of him.”
“That close?”
“It happened fast. We shared trauma.”
“So, you would show him your Google history?”
“Pshhh, girl, please. I would rather walk buck naked in the grocery store during bush-week winter than let anyone ever see my browsing history. Not even you are privy to that information.”
“Should I be worried about being replaced?”
“Hell no. You know better,” I say, giving her the side eye.
“Okay, so if you’re just friends, what do you need him for? Why not just hang with me?”
“Because I love you, but all you do anymo
re is plan your weddin’ and make me craft favors when I come over. I have thousands of glue gun burns to prove it.”
I cringe when I see her reaction.
“Sorry, but seriously, you know you do.”
She shrugs, the grudge leaving her face. “Fine, I do.”