“Good, can you please tell me how to get out of the bathroom?”
“Jesus. Maybe Dad could cover for me so I can rescue you two.”
“I’ve got this. We’ll Uber it home.”
“Swear to the Lort?”
“Aww, you Madea’d me. You must really love me.”
“Of course I love you, you idiot. You need to leave school now. Get Theo and get the hell out of there before it hits harder.”
“On it. Wait, it’s going to hit harder?”
“I don’t know, just go get him.”
“Just have to figure out who makes this toilet. It feels like Jell-O on my ass.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s comfortable.”
“Laney, go get him. If he’s in as bad of shape as you, this could be disastrous.”
“Oh,” I snort, yanking at the toilet paper. “That’s right. He’s got a rep as a Grand Band Man.”
“And he’s on scholarship, remember? I’m pretty sure getting stoned at school is frowned upon.”
That sobers me. “I gotta save him!”
“You think?”
“I think this song’s on repeat.”
“It’s been like fifteen seconds.”
“I don’t believe you,” I mutter as I glance around the bathroom stall. “You have got to try out this toilet.”
“Laney, FOCUS! Get Theo and get out of there!”
“Right. I’m on it. Devin?”
“Yes, girl?”
“Why don’t we eat more Jell-O together?”
Theo
My legs won’t move no matter how much I will them to. I feel like I’ve been sitting here for years.
Everything is vibrating.
I’m going to die.
Pulling out my phone, I text Laney.
Theo: I nees to leave. I don’t tink tis is mellow.hi. Can come now?
Laney: I’m working on the Jell-O.