“Sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Hurry home…” I feel the blush creep up my face. “I mean back.”
“Home,” he says. “I don’t live here anymore.”
“Right.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.”
“I’m not.”
“I’m ready to come home, to you.”
“Okay.”
“Merry Christmas, Laney.”
“Merry Christmas, Houseman.”
Theo
Lying on my bed, in my new navy dress pants, collared shirt, and tie, I bounce my stress ball off the ceiling. I’ve never been so restless in my life. While I love my family, they are nowhere near as entertaining as the feisty brunette who’s taking up a majority of my thoughts, my time. Things moved fast after we got physical, and I had to convince myself on the drive giving us space would give me perspective. But at this point, it’s all I can do to keep from packing my car and making an excuse to head home. Nora crosses my thoughts, and I shake the image away of her tear-soaked confession.
“It just happened.”
It’s the only thing keeping me from making the drive. With Laney, I have to pace myself. I can’t let my heart rule my head. I’ve done that, and I have no intention of walking the plank again without ample reason to. But somewhere beneath all this caution is a white flag waving half-mast ready for me to simply give in. Laney isn’t Nora, and I can’t grudge one for the other’s mistake. But if I’m forced to live by experience, I can’t help but to weigh the risk. Laney has the ability to hurt me. But how much of myself do I want to invest in a woman who has to stand in the junk food aisle for ten minutes to make a simple decision. She’s unsure about everything, and who’s to say in a month or a day she won’t feel the same about me.
Am I an asshole for thinking it?
“Aww,” Courtney draws from the frame of my bedroom door, “look, Jamie, he’s daydreaming about his girlfriend.”
I groan, throwing my arm over my eyes as I toss the ball in the direction of my door.
“Can you two please go find some garland to strangle each other with?”
“As much as I want to Freud you, little brother, we’ve got to go. Yuletide is calling, and Dad’s pacing downstairs.”
“I’ll be down in a minute.”
Jamie pries my arm from my face. “Come on, do your duty and you can come back here and sulk.”
“Hurry up, boy sperm,” Courtney taps the door before taking her leave as Jamie lingers behind.
“What?” I feel her stare as I lift to sit, grabbing my suit jacket.
“You really like this one.”
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Just be careful.”
Jamie was the one who drove down when Nora dropped the bomb. For a week straight, she stayed at my side, mostly silent as I went through the motions. She’d played big brother, got me drunk for a couple of days while she cleaned out every piece of memorabilia from my life, and then forced me out of bed into the shower.
“Not too careful. I want you to take the chance again, to be happy,” she says, a pensive expression flitting across her features. “I just don’t ever want to see you like that—”
“I know. Don’t worry.”
“Can’t help it.”