“Big oversight on their part. You know how I feel about that. But you’re where you belong now. I believe that, and you do too. She was right about you, and you were about her. Lance, she’s one of the good ones.”
My eyes burn as I try to put myself in her shoes. “All this time, she never told me.”
“Would you want to admit it?”
No. And I didn’t. For years I’ve kept my own shit to myself. And the fact that tonight she saw what I dealt with growing up was humiliating.
“Do you think…” I swallow because it shouldn’t matter, but the words feel like acid coming off my tongue, “she’s ugly?”
“My opinion never mattered to you before. And that’s what she didn’t want to open your eyes to. Honestly, she’s not conventionally beautiful, but no, I don’t t
hink she’s ugly at all.”
“She believes she is,” I say, heart obliterated. “I think she’s fucking perfect.”
“That’s all that matters. You think I give a shit if you think my wife is pretty?”
“Troy, how…how could they hurt her?”
It’s then I see the livid eyes and hear the voice of Ryan Elliot years ago in my driveway.
“She’s not like other girls. She won’t recover if you rip her heart out. She’s been through a lot, and you’re subjecting her to a lot more.”
He thought I knew. He thought I knew they were hurting her.
“People are fucked up, man. It’s not because of the way she looks, it’s because of the way she looks next to you.”
I choke on my emotion, and he hears it.
“Hey, you know I’ve got some time off. I can come down.”
“Fuck, Troy, what am I going to do?”
“Love her. That’s all she wants.”
“That’s not a problem.” I’m breaking apart, piece by piece, as I stare at her window.
“Look,” he says on an exhale, “you were there for me when I needed you, and I’m trying to do the same. I’m just asking you to think, okay? Think. Absolutely nothing good can happen from you going after them now. Get some sleep, man. You’ll get her back tomorrow.”
“Damn,” I run a hand down my face. “Jesus, I’m so fucked.”
“You’re not, it just looks bleak. She’s your reason to fight, always.”
It’s then I crack wide open. Because it’s the truth. It’s the absolute truth.
“I gotta go.”
Harper
“Your girl is fucking ugly.”
He didn’t even hear it. Well, he did, that’s what drew his violent reaction, but he didn’t acknowledge it. The words didn’t resonate because he doesn’t believe it. He’s never believed it. He’s blind to the scrutiny. If I’m honest with myself, it’s one of the things I love so much about him. It’s the only thing that leads me to believe some part of the man I fell for still dwells inside him, but it’s not enough. Not anymore.
Painfully sober, I creep down the hallway, my bag in hand, and push the note to Trevor under his door. It’s going to be impossible to forget this family I’ve fallen so comfortably in love with. It’s only been ten days, but I feel every bit a part of it. I can’t face his parents. I assured Jeannie I wouldn’t hurt him, and there’s a chance I won’t with my leaving. He’s become a stone too hard to penetrate.
I don’t want you anymore!
Who’s the fool?