“No.”
“Well, I’ll never believe you.”
“It was real,” he says. “All of it. It was real.”
“Stop,” I say, dropping my gaze. “You can’t do this.”
“Please,” he rasps out. “Please look at me.”
Jaw clenching, I lift my eyes.
“Beau taught me that a ‘real man’ stakes his claim and won’t let anything or anyone come between him and what he can’t live without. And I was ready for that. I was prepared for it. I was ready to fight my brothers tooth and nail, to fight you every day until you forgave me. I had a thousand dreams ready with you in every single one.”
He tugs me to him, trapping me in his hold and slowly lifting my shirt from where it’s tucked into my jeans before sliding warm palms up my back and running the pads of his fingers along my wings. “This,” he palms my back, “it’s the fucking worst thing I’ve ever done to anyone, but,” he swallows, “you are the only thing I’ve ever stolen for myself. I let jealousy fuck up the beginning, and losing Dominic ruin the rest,” he admits, his gaze imploring. “When I saw him in your arms, when I saw how terrified you were, I couldn’t handle not knowing if I would lose you next. I couldn’t fucking handle it. I’ve never been so terrified in my life. You were all I had left. But I wanted you then, and I still want you. But more than that, I wanted to deserve you. I couldn’t take any of it back. I felt like the worst man alive. I did things that you should never forgive me for. And I couldn’t believe that you still loved me when you came back, after all the hell I put you through. I couldn’t believe you still looked at me the way you did, that same look,” he shakes his head in disbelief, sliding his thumbs along my back. “Maybe this isn’t a happy ending, but it’s okay if we deal with whatever it is…right? I’m sorry it took me so fucking long, but I never, not once, expected you would forgive me—want me again.” Tears fill his eyes. “We can’t bring him back, you can’t forgive me for everything, but we can fucking try to be…whatever it is we’re cursed to be. I don’t care how fucked up we turn out as long as I’ve got you.”
“W-w-hy,” I clear my throat, “why now?”
“Because loving you made me sick as fuck and losing you twice has made me terminal. I don’t want to live out any ending that doesn’t include you.”
I palm his chest and push. “Tobias—”
“I’ve only begun to prove myself to you. Let me. Please let me. If you never tell me you love me again, I’ll deserve it, and I won’t even ask for it. Not ever. But it’s your heart that I want most, Cecelia, not your beautiful face or your body, it’s your heart that I’m drawn to, it’s your heart that’s the most beautiful thing about you, it’s your heart that makes you my most worthy opponent.” He buries his head in my neck. “Please. God, please, Cecelia, let me finally love you the way you deserve.” He pulls back, his words sneaking past my armor, through the fabric, and into the skin before driving straight into me.
I shake my head at my idiocy. “You forced me to let you go. You’re asking too much of me.”
“You think I don’t know that? You think I haven’t tried to talk myself out of this to spare you my greed?” His eyes lift to mine. “I sent the proposal to buy Horner Tech the day after you got engaged. It was my only move. And when I got no response, I thought you ignored it because you had truly moved on. It was one of the worst fucking days of my life knowing that another claimed you and you accepted. Even though I was with Alicia at the time, I make very bad decisions when I get jealous over you, and that one I decided was a selfish decision after the fact. A weak moment. A coward’s play, but I could never fully commit to her.” He places my hand on his chest. “You gave me a choice the day you left, to play coward or be king.” He releases me, pulling a chess piece from his pocket and places it in my palm. “And you were right, you’ve always had the heart of a queen, but you have to know, earning your love will be the only thing that will make me a king.”
I study the piece in my hand—the piece from my father’s board. A piece I hadn’t realized was missing. The night I arrived. The gin. He was there.
I blow out a frustrated breath. “You are an unimaginable bastard.”
“Your bastard,” he adds, a faint smile simmering on his thick lips though his eyes are etched with worry. It’s need I feel pouring from him. And for one caution-free second, I let myself celebrate it. His fingers massage my skin as he cradles me in his arms, his eyes imploring with a gentleness that has me aching.
His heart pounds against mine, willing me to obey and no amount of lies I tell it, will it believe. This man is the only one capable of giving it to me. I’ll forever be its slave. He searches my face, his eyes glistening. But I won’t make it so easy for him, not until he earns it.
“We’ll fight all the time.”
He grins. “I know.”
“You’re a lunatic for marking me.”
“I know that, too.”
“So, are you done?” I ask fearfully. Because if that’s the truth, it’s the biggest lie he will ever tell. The brotherhood is his whole identity. Any other life would be living a lie. “Because I don’t want you to quit for me. That’s not who you are.”
“I’m on an extended leave of absence for now, and I’ve fucking earned it.”
“I won’t let you quit.”
“I won’t let you let me.” He runs his hands up and down my sides, his voice full of determination when he speaks. “If you leave, I’ll come after you. If you change your mind, I’ll change it back. I’ll fight so fucking hard for you every single day, so you never question if you made the right choice.”
“No more secrets between us, Tobias. No more convenient omissions, no more games, no more protecting me because you think
it’s best, we both make the important decisions.”
He nods. “I swear.”
“Well, you’re a liar.”