“There are some things…things I’m working on. You and I being involved will complicate them.” Not bothering to look at her, I was ready for the inevitable.
“I understand,” she said without emotion. The mood was broken, and I felt the guilt.
Why had I even asked her here with me? To fuck her? She was my best client. What the fuck was I doing?
Assisting her off the boat, she turned back to me. “It was amazing, and I loved every minute of it.”
“I’ll take you anytime you want,” I whispered, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “Stay safe, Nina.”
Opening my celebratory bottle of Macallan, I took a long drink as I watched her approach her town car and felt the urgent tug. I couldn’t let her walk away. I needed to let her go. The realist in me knew it was for the best. I was forcefully married. She was newly divorced and had trust issues. We were a ticking time bomb, and yet as I watched her beautiful frame disappearing from my line of sight, everything in me screamed for her to stop. I felt like I was losing her already and I couldn’t prevent my legs from moving, nor the words from coming out. I caught up with her just as her driver was opening her door. He retreated gracefully, giving us privacy as he eyed me with curiosity. I grabbed her hand, kissing the back of it.
“I want you, in every way, Nina. I think about you constantly. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
She looked at me with pleading eyes. “Then don’t hurt me.”
But I did hurt her, and every fear I had of us being together came true. Predicting the end and the way it would happen didn’t make it less painful, and now I was begging her to see me by text. And she wouldn’t even fucking answer me.
Still in my suit, I sat on the grass at what was once home, piss drunk with my nearly finished bottle, staring at the pool we’d never used as Eileen approached.
“That was pleasant. I think they enjoyed themselves,” she said as she watched me. I ignored her stare as she stood next to me, waiting for an invitation to join me that wasn’t coming.
“Do you want to fuck?” I said, making a mockery out of the night. “Dear?”
She scoffed as she tried to take my bottle, but I kept a tight hold on it. We struggled for a few seconds before she gave up.
“You really should see a therapist,” she remarked.
I couldn’t help the loud laughter that burst out of me.
“I’m not the one living in denial,” I said, taking one last swig before emptying hundreds of dollars onto our perfect lawn.
“Devin,” she hissed. “Waste.”
I looked up at her, noting her freshly applied lipstick. It disgusted me. “You are worried about waste? Good to know, dear wife, because I’m hoping you’ll take into account the amount of years we have been in this useless union.”
“You loved me once,” she said, completely void of any real emotion.
“I tolerated you. I thought you were a good fuck, and the sad part is you are still beautiful. You can have any man you want, but me.”
She crossed her arms as she sat next to me. “You made a promise. My mother and father have—”
“Your mother and father do not want each other. They do not love each other. They are fucking institutionalized!”
“Devin, don’t raise your voice, please. It’s our—”
I stood up, glaring down at her as the dimly lit pool illuminated her features. “Have you been faithful?”
She looked up at me, and I saw it. No, she hadn’t.
“Devin, you put me in this position.”
There was no reasoning with that kind of stupidity. I wouldn’t beg for my freedom. I would earn it the way I had earned everything else.
“I can buy you out right fucking now. Let me out of this, or I’ll start over,” I hissed down at her.
“Ah, but you can’t, can you? With your reputation ruined once I’m done with it, no one will trust you with their fortune. Not with the things you’ve done.”
“I haven’t done a damn thing wrong but think marrying you was a good move,” I said, walking toward the house, ready to pass out face first so I could live to fight another day.