Taylor had been absent lately, commuting back and forth from Savannah. My guess was a man, and after a thousand attempts to pry it out of her, Cedric told me as much.
Finally, Taylor has a man. Was that so damn hard?
I still hadn’t decided what to do with the land, though I knew by ridding myself of it I was all the wiser. I could no longer afford to care about the mystery behind it. When I wasn’t busy enough and was forced to think, I spent my time wondering what had caused so much hate between family.
And I thought mine was fucked up.
Realizing there were answers I would never get and would never seek, I’d decided I was better off not knowing. I had convinced myself of that. Somewhere deep inside and only late at night when sleep evaded me, a part of me that I wouldn’t let surface cried without tears. I’d cut her off completely from my daytime persona, and only when I lay in bed, weak with worsening thoughts, did I let her come out to remind me of Devin’s face twisted in agony at the sight of me, or Aiden’s promise to give me all that I needed before turning our relationship into a cruel joke on Devin.
Little by little, the woman who wished for a different outcome discarded her feelings subtly, like Andy discarded the rocks from his wall in that movie Shawshank Redemption. Little by little, I was moving a big mountain a few rocks at a time.
I went to bed after the first month, feeling accomplished. Being alone for the first time wasn’t so damned scary, and it wasn’t intimidating. It was just life. My life.
I looked to Cedric, who was still heavily winded, and smiled proudly as I walked out of the gym.
All I had to do was clear the air of my obvious distractions to see clearly. I was an ambitious, determined, wealthy woman with a strong, insatiable, sexual appetite who needed to take control of her life.
And so I did.
And you know what I found out? It was way harder to be weak.
§§
Deciding never to set foot in at the Admiral’s Club again, for obvious reasons, I sipped a Tom Collins on the rooftop deck overlooking the sunset when my phone buzzed.
“Nina.”
“Hey, Taylor. I just got done with the meeting with Jones. He’s a weirdo. Like seriously, his inventions might be amazing, but I won’t see him again without Cedric.” Cedric, now an integral part of my world, had left me alone last night, confirming that they had found the man who attempted to take my life. I was celebrating my first night of real freedom and was excited to finally be back in control. “Come see me. I’m at the rooftop deck of the—”
“Nina, shut up and listen.”
“Okay,” I said carefully. “What’s your problem?”
“In Savannah, I’ve been frequenting a club called The Rabbit Hole.”
I sighed. “You know, Taylor, you finally want to talk about your shit, and I’m finally over asking.”
“Please shut up.”
“Okay,” I said, sensing the seriousness in her voice.
“It’s a sex club. Do you know what I’m saying?”
Shocked at her admission, but willing to share, I admitted, “Yes, Taylor. I’ve had a Dom.” Well, actually two.
“I know because he’s here.”
“Who?”
“Devin,” she answered in a hushed voice.
I watched the sun drift beneath the horizon as the Ravenel Bridge lit up. The birds danced through the air in sendoff, as if to tell the sun goodnight. So many things had changed, and yet my love for this city remained the same. I stood still, admiring the harbor as I buried my emotion, playing immune to Taylor’s confession.
“Taylor, nothing surprises me anymore. Seriously, we really need to clear the air between us, you and I. And why should I care?” I continued in vain, already speed walking toward my car.
“I just thought it strange him being here.”
“Well, he is a newly divorced man and needs a new sub.”