“Oh, yes you have. It might not have been the kind that goes on to the grave—well, maybe that was a poor choice of words.” Her shoulders slumped.
I put up my hands. “Just stop right there. There is no way to glorify this situation.”
Amber smirked and moved from the counter to pick up Joseph. “Are you saying good things can’t come from bad? Because me and this little man disagree, don’t we, buddy?”
Joseph gripped his mother’s hair and then looked at me with Laz’s eyes. I choked on my tears as they moved toward me. I shied away, too afraid of scaring the baby with my emotions. Unable to resist, I took him in my arms and studied his profile. He was a replica of his father, which kept the burn brewing in my throat. Amber looked at us as I gripped him tightly to me and cradled Laz’s son. “Everything you loved about him is in this little man. The rest, the world did away with.”
“Hey!” Joseph shrieked as he waved a chubby arm at me. “Hey!”
I chuckled as tears slid down my face. “Hey!”
“Another man in love with you,” Amber said with a sigh. “I’m kind of relieved I have a date.”
“Hey!” Blue eyes I’d dreamed of for years stared back at me with complete trust. I had failed Amber, but Joseph was my chance to make things right. And I would take it.
Amber lay in my bed while Joseph napped. I pulled an overnight bag from my closet. “You are just taking clothes?”
“Yes,” I said, looking around the room. There was nothing sentimental about leaving the condo. “New place, new stuff.”
“That’s the fun part, shopping.” She offered as she texted on her phone.
“Hardly,” I disagreed. “I hate shopping. The movers will be here tomorrow to pick up my wardrobe.”
Amber snorted. “Wardrobe. Jeez. Is this real life?”
I smiled at her despite my ache. “You aren’t doing so bad as a temp. You may have your own soon.”
“I’ll earn it,” Amber piped.
“I’ll make sure you do,” I said sternly. Amber rolled her eyes as she glanced at her phone and blushed.
“He’s a dirty talker.”
I grabbed a pair of jeans from a drawer. “You don’t say.”
“Too much?”
I let out a breath and looked her way. “Probably. I don’t know. Do sisters talk about sex?”
She shrugged. “We could.” She pushed herself to kneel on my bed, her phone resting on her legs, eyes wide. “Tell me something.”
I pulled a shirt off a hanger and made my way into the bathroom.
“Aww, come on, Taylor. That gorgeous man had to be good at it.”
I poked my head out of the door. “He was.” I shut the door and locked it with a chuckle.
“Really? Way to let a girl down!” she said through the door.
“Sorry.”
In the shower, I washed the lazy Saturday off me, intent on moving into the penthouse and making Sunday a workday. I picked up the last of Daniello’s soap and lathered my hands. Maybe there was some sentiment after all. The smell brought me to instant tears. The shower had been my retreat. The only place I let my emotions go. I was anxious to take up residence in the penthouse so I could mourn without watchful eyes around me. I cupped my hand over my mouth as I sat on the tiled bench seat and brought my legs up. No matter how hard I cried, the ache wouldn’t leave. He was still there, still inside, and so deep there was no way to exorcise him. His permanent absence left the deepest hurt imaginable. He’d saved me and imprisoned me. Bone-deep sadness was my new companion and threatened permanent residence. I couldn’t shake it.
A loud thud interrupted my thoughts, and I called out to Amber.
“What was that?” I stood, washing the soap off my body, waiting for a reply.
Silence.