Donato raised a brow. “What about Rocco?”
“He’s an angry man.”
“He is a foolish and jealous man. His father was killed in the army as well, but he does not concern himself with sentiments for the dead. He is also a selfish man.”
I deadpanned, “He’s an asshole.”
Donato chuckled as he threw several loaves into the oven. “Rocco was the soldier his father wanted Daniello to be. Right before Amon died, he burdened Daniello with that truth. But it was no secret. Daniello remained a stranger to Italy for many years before his father passed.”
“Rocco is jealous?”
“Rocco has always been second best; a man determined to prove his worth.”
“And Daniello?”
“He is very much the soldier his father wanted him to be, but he serves no army.”
Daniello’s words in my office months before rang home.
“Who are you?”
“I am the man who will disappear from your bed one night without any explanation.”
You see, there are bad men out there who will not hesitate to pull the trigger . . . rape, steal, and climb with hungry claws to get to where they want to be.”
“And you are one of them?”
“No. I am the man who stomps on those men with my heel.”
Donato had paused his hands and was staring at me intently. “What are you thinking of?”
What if he isn’t a villain?
Donato wiped the counter with the towel as he spoke. “I have said too much. This is not my story to tell. Please do not mention this to Daniello.”
“You have my word.”
I was living in limbo. The only news that kept me going was that my sister was still breathing. Nina had taken it upon herself to keep Joseph. I had no objections. I had no clue what the right move was, aside from taking the danger away from them. I couldn’t find my strength. I had no order. Love had ripped away the hard lines in my heart, weakened my walls.
Love in any form made me weak. That was the truth of why I’d avoided it for so fucking long. Whether it be the love for Laz, Ray, my sister, or for the man I met just a few short months ago, it was a weakness. All I’d worked for I’d lost due to my weakness.
And still, when it came to regrets, I felt like I hadn’t fully lived until I admitted loving every one of them. Tracing my steps back, Laz had turned into an abusive liar and became impossible to trust. Ray had always thrown away my attempts at mending the bridge between us, and Daniello, well, he’d blown my life to hell with his sudden appearance, his secrets, and he had exclusive claim to the heart I had left.
And he took it with him.
I had no future. Just a path to right the wrongs I had buried with a new life that no longer belonged to me. I pulled at the bottle of whiskey and tossed it up in the air, shattering it with three bullets before it hit the ground. I stared at the peaceful hillside I’d taken residence on as I thought of Ray and his hopes for me.
Ray came to me a week after our blowout, hungry and eager as he spread me with his hands and licked my center. Enraged at my body’s response to his touch I clawed at his skin before he entered me slowly while he hovered above. “Fuck, you feel good.”
I lay back, lifeless, my jaw clamped, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Still angry with me, kitten?”
He pumped slowly, purposefully forcing me to face him as tears streamed down my cheeks. It was the first and last time he would ever see me cry. He paused above me and pulled out as he sat on the bed, his face to the carpet. “Don’t mistake sex for love and love for loyalty. The minute they stop paying attention to you is the minute it’s over. Stay loyal to your end game.”
He and I had been mute ghosts drifting through the hallways of a cold mansion. His silence was deafening. He never asked the question that I knew weighed heavily on his mind. “I wasn’t pregnant.”
Ray inhaled deeply, his brow covered in sweat. He said nothing.