He turns back and I can only conclude he sees the warring hurt and confusion in my eyes, my expression. “You catchin’ feelings for me, Pup?”
All I can do is give him the same honesty. “Yes, of course I am. We… I was hoping… I don’t know.”
“That’s right, we don’t, so let’s not go around getting offended and slinging drama where it isn’t needed. You want to trust me, but you’re not letting yourself, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I can tell you every day you’re safe with me, but unless you believe it, it’s pointless. And for the record, I caught feelings the minute I laid eyes on you.” I go slack as he brushes a finger over my lips. “You’re beautiful, intelligent, kind-hearted, sensitive, and more,” he drops his forehead to my shoulder and groans, “and pissed off.”
Initial shock aside, I decide to try and be completely honest with myself, to give myself the freedom to try and see things his way. There is a lot of truth to his words, but I expect to see hurt in his eyes, and I don’t. It disappoints me and, in a way, wounds me. I was hoping at this point he would be possessive when it comes to me, but that’s not what I’m feeling from him. “I just don’t want to feel…”
He lifts his head. “Used? Degraded? That’s you doing it. That’s you, baby. Not me.” He leans in. “Any judgment being passed right now is yours and yours alone.” He’s still holding onto my hand and slowly lifts it, kissing the pads of my fingers one by one. “When we started spending time together, I didn’t expect…” his eyes pierce me deep, “I have been and will be monogamous with you, Cecelia, easily, if that’s what you truly want. I have half a mind to lock you up and throw away the key with only me behind the door because of the way I think you’re starting to feel. But there’s the other side of it, and I don’t want to hold you back, because liberation can be a beautiful thing. And you deserve to have whatever you want.” He leans in, whispering kisses along the hollow of my neck, his lips trailing over my rapidly heating skin. He grips my hair, his breath warm in my ear. “It’s okay to want his dick, baby, I’ll watch it go inside you and fucking love the view, and the savage it’ll make me.”
Pulling back to weigh my reaction to his words, I see nothing but satisfaction before he tugs my lip into his mouth, the act aiding to the rapidly pooling desire between my thighs. He runs his hand down my stomach and dips beneath the material, slipping a lone finger inside of me. My slickness glistens on his finger as he lifts it, forcing me to see just how much his suggestions arouse me and I can’t look away as he sucks it into his mouth. On the brink of combustion, my legs begin to shake as he drops to his knees. “Yeah, let’s take the edge off that.”
I push at his head with urgency as he chuckles darkly while he unties my bottoms. Kneeling before me, his hair tickles my stomach through my hole-ridden cover-up.
“Sean,” I moan out his name as he pushes my legs apart and hooks one over his shoulder. “Jesus.”
“Open up,” he nudges my legs further. “Wider,” his deep throaty grunt reaches my ears a second before his tongue lands on my clit. I jump at the contact and he grips me, grounding me in his firm hold as he lashes out with his tongue. It takes only seconds to start feeling the crest of an orgasm as he eats me eagerly.
“Fuck, yes,” he murmurs, looking up to me while pushing a finger inside and moving my cover-up so I can watch it glide in and out. He adds another as I gaze down at him, his golden crown glowing in the clearing of trees as he kneels amongst pine needles, his hazel gaze brimming with lust. I’ll never in my life forget how good it feels being looked at like this, touched like this. Breaths heavy, I begin to shake in his hold as he coaxes my orgasm with expertise. He’s good, too good, and that tinge of jealousy spurs me as I clench around his thick fingers. I just watch him as he does nothing short of worship me. Keeping my eyes trained, he leans down and darts his tongue with perfect pressure, his fingers twisting before I detonate. A satisfied groan vibrates from his throat as he watches me from below, his tongue picking up speed as I come undone.
Quaking in his arms, it overtakes me entirely and he struggles to keep me upright. Unable to control myself, I shriek his name as he laps me up until the surge subsides. When I’m liquid, he re-ties my bottoms, placing kisses on the bare skin on my stomach, trailing his warm mouth up my neck before claiming my lips. In that kiss, I feel nothing but safe and adored. Not judged for my wicked thoughts, not condemned for getting heated by his suggestions.
He pulls away. “Damn, it’s all I can do right now to keep from fucking the hell out of you.” He shakes his head reading my dazed expression. “There’s a battle raging in your head from what you’ve been taught and what you think you might want, and that’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Some believe without rules and morals that we’re no better than animals.” He leans in, his mouth twisting seductively. “But it can be a lot of fun to be an animal, and it’s always about the choices you make. But it’s always going to be up to you. Understand?”
I nod as he pushes thick strands of hair behind my shoulder. “Good.” He turns and crouches down in front of me. “Now, hop on before you blow out a flip flop.”
BASKING ATOP OF THE ROUGH exterior of the mammoth float, eyes closed, I lift my chin toward the direction of the sun. Sean to one side of me, Dominic on the other. Both are bare-chested in dark swimming trunks, and I’ve had a hell of a time ripping my eyes off them today, especially after what transpired this morning. Dominic met me at the float, silvery eyes gleaming with mischief, a devilish smile tilting his full lips, the picture of a dark angel with deviant intent.
“Get it all figured out?” His words were full of insinuation as if he knew exactly what our spat had been about and how it ended, so I just glared at him. And he seemed to glow in it, saying nothing else as he helped Sean get the two coolers on the massive float.
It’s where we’ve been for hours; drinking, talking, swimming, eating, and sun-bathing like lazy cats. Dominic hasn’t gone out of his way to be nice to me, but it’s become evident as the hours pass that the dynamic changed after the day I spent with him.
Music plays from the small radio Sean brought as we all laze silently, floating in the middle of the lake, anchored in the water, secluded by the majestic mountains above. It’s the perfect summer day, the coconut smell of suntan lotion lingering in the air between the three of us.
I flip on my stomach and turn my head in Dominic’s direction, opening my eyes when I feel his lingering stare. The sight of him is jarring. He’s sprawled out, skin slick with sweat, his gaze darkening as he watches me.
“What?”
He says nothing, just concentrates on me, and I feel the clench inside, the ache, the unfurling, and the truth of Sean’s words. I do want Dominic. I’m constantly fighting our draw, all the while trying to make peace with what it would mean to me if I stopped.
Is it wrong?
And is this the only chance I am going to get, to be in a situation with two insanely hot men I share desire for?
Dominic pivots his arm so he’s able to brush the pad of his thumb down my spine. I shiver at the contact, my eyes widening slightly, my lips parting as he tracks his finger trailing down my skin. And then I feel the tug on the back of my bikini string as he slowly unravels it, and the soft material slackens at the front of me.
“I’m not…”
Dominic lifts a brow, stilling his touch, a question in his eyes. He’s seeking permission. I can feel Sean bristle next to me and turn my head to meet his eyes, light green depths flecked with brown searching mine. He leans in and places a gentle kiss on my lips as Dominic resumes his touch.
It’s a choice. My choice.
“I’m not f-fucking…” I sputter out to Sean, thinking that’s what he wants to hear while trying to voice my lie.
Can I do this?
Do I want to?
Am I capable of living with it?