Method

“Definitely. I’m good with the terms, but I’m more interested in how you want to film it.”

For the next two hours, we shoot ideas back and forth, both visibly becoming more enthusiastic as the minutes pass, recognizing what he’s envisioned is the same as the picture I drew while reading the script.

It only takes another few minutes of details to seal it.

The part is mine. It will be my sixteenth movie, my tenth lead, and it’s going to be the most grueling role of my career.

As I walk back to the valet, I can’t help but smile at the memory of my mentor and hope she’d be proud.

“I’ve hit my stride, Maddie.” Somewhere in the back of my mind, I can hear her distant voice.

“Good job, boy.”

Mila

I flip between stations as another news anchor discloses more grim details of the scene at Blake’s apartment the day he took his life. The autopsy report was released earlier this morning revealing Blake didn’t have a trace of drugs or alcohol in his system and speculation has run rampant.

“Police say there was no note and his wedding ring was found sitting on the edge of his desk. Blake is survived by his estranged mother, Jennifer Helms, who was present at the funeral along with his ex-wife Amanda George, a former co-star who played Katrina Dobbs in the sitcom, Buzzed. The two former child actors rekindled their friendship at West’s movie premiere seven years ago, and they were married just three months later at a small ceremony in Carmel. Lucas Walker had been in attendance with his girlfriend at the time, Laura Lee.”

Though they paint Lucas and me as a glorious picture, Entertainment News is always quick to remind me that I’m not the high-profile actress that Lucas was supposed to marry. The longer the report goes on, the more I know they’re reaching for reasoning.

“Lucas Walker has yet to make a statement on the death of his longtime friend.”

Clicking off the TV with the remote, I find myself thankful Lucas is preoccupied. At the same time, I dread his reaction to the news. I can only imagine how Amanda must be feeling. We spent a lot of time with them when Lucas and I first got together. They’d been married for a little over a year and seemed smitten. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Amanda during his funeral. Picking up my cell, I make my way to our bedroom terrace. The call goes to voice mail, and as I start to leave a message, I see her name light up on the screen returning my call and accept it.

I forgo a typical greeting. “Amanda, I’m so sorry.”

“We were happy, weren’t we? When we were together? We were happy?” she asks tearfully.

“Yes, you were.”

“I thought so. And then he just…”

“What?” I prompt out of curiosity. When they divorced a year ago, I’d never gotten the real story from either of them, and I hadn’t pressed for it. I’d tried on several occasions to reach Amanda, but she’d withdrawn, completely heartbroken. She and Blake had that in common.

“What happened?”

“He just…changed. I think he got depressed. He was so busy worrying about keeping up…” she cuts herself off.

“Keeping up with Lucas?”

“I think so. He never said it, but I know he was embarrassed about the way things turned out. Eventually, it got to the point where he had to stop making excuses. I could never say that out loud, until now.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I just don’t understand why he would do this. We were in the midst of working things out.”

This shocks me. “You were thinking about getting back together?”

“Yes, no, I don’t know, maybe,” she sobs. “Things were turning around for him, I think. He was up for this part, and he was so excited. I don’t understand.”

Her cries echo over the phone and my eyes well up and spill over. I can physically feel her pain over the line. “I wish I knew what to say.”

“Nothing to say. I’m just glad you called.” She sniffs. “You know, his bitch mother was fine with arranging the funeral, but she’s refusing to help with anything else. His landlord called me. Tomorrow I have to go clean out his apartment and box up his things. How am I going to do this, Mila?”

“I’ll help,” I offer. “I’ll be there, okay? Just text me, and I’ll meet you.”

“Okay,” she replies quickly, gratitude in her tone. “Do you think Lucas will come?” she asks hopefully. “I want to talk to him.”