“But you’re not.”
“Again,” he said standing. “None of your business.”
“I get it, okay. I didn’t come here to fucking snorkel either.”
Surprised by my venom, he stayed mute. It seemed I had the floor for the first time since he arrived.
“A year ago, I showed up in the same shit shape as you.”
“You have no idea—”
I waved my hand in the air and cut him off, giving him a taste of his own medicine. “And that’s your secret to keep. I had my own reasons. Reasons that were just as personal to me.” People are selfish with their pain, but not their anger. I got it. I’d lived through it.
“I understand you right now more than you know, so just take a step back, okay? I’m not the enemy. I’m waving the white flag here. The dinner invitation stands. Seven o’clock. I’m a shit cook, but it’s better than staring at the ceiling.”
I made my leave without another word, relieved that he was capable of at least faking a smile for whomever he was on screen with.
Halfway to my Jeep I pulled my buzzing phone from my pocket and answered on the first ring. “Good morning, Rowan.”
Ian stepped out onto the beach in my line of sight before he disappeared down the shoreline.
“I just spoke to Ian. I invited him for dinner. I think he may come.”
“Oh? That’s wonderful news.”
“I was just at the house. It looks like the remodel is coming along.” Another lie. The next question was purely selfish. “He was on his computer signing with someone?”
“Oh good. He was speaking to Ella. His daughter, my granddaughter. She’s deaf.”
“Oh.” The smile he gave her was genuine.
“Okay, love, thank you. I was just checking in. I hate to bother you so much.” Her voice was sincere and apologetic.
“It’s fine, Rowan. Anytime.”
“Thank you, Koti.”
I inhaled the sea air as I gazed at the rolling waves. It once renewed my faith. I had no doubt they would work their magic on I
an.
I SAT THAT NIGHT WITH candles lit all over my deck, freshly broiled fish waiting in the oven and a crisp salad spoiling on the porch. Ian was a no-show. I was surprised at my disappointment when he stomped on my white flag and even more flabbergasted minutes later, when the sound of a woman’s laugh filtered in the air before I heard the rumble of Ian’s voice. Hopping to my feet as the sun set, I blew out the candles and dashed inside in an attempt to save face from his rejection. From my upstairs porch, stretching my neck and body, I peeked over the side of the house to see Ian ravaging a woman in our large sand-filled alley. He was dressed in slacks and a light button-down and she was plastered to the siding, hidden under his tall frame. I heard her moan underneath him before her head tilted up heavenward, her eyes tightly shut as he whispered to her before lifting her skirt, his hands working beneath. Too intoxicated to look away, I watched him devour her as she gasped under his touch.
Face flushed I looked on, silently scorning the total pervert I was and felt a slight twinge of… something.
Jealousy?
For Ian? No, he was a dick.
A total and complete dick.
So much for s’more loyalty.
Mentally I picked up my battered white flag and tucked it back in my pocket.
Was I jealous of the attention the woman was getting?
Definitely. It was one thing to go without, it was another thing entirely to have it tossed in your face. I loved a good kiss, the whisper of a man’s lips on my neck. I was beginning to miss sex, but that was the most of it. I’d done long-term without the happy ending, short-term with the abrupt record scratch ending and more one-night stands than a girl should admit to. When you referred to the last guy you were intimate with as the one with the black-checkered tie, as I did, desire took a back seat to self-worth. I wanted the relationship with the next man to be a little more meaningful, but that would require commitment and I’d just gotten myself together.