Someone Else's Ocean
Page 90
I walked out onto the porch as Jasmine jumped out of the hammock wiping at her eyes.
She dropped Disco on the porch who came running toward me. I picked her up and gave her a kiss. “Morning, baby.” Dispensing the puppy in the house, I moved to where Jasmine stood.
“Why are you crying? Did Julian do something?”
She shook her head adamantly and then smiled, which quickly turned into a grimace that had my heart splintering when she started crying again.
“Jasmine, please tell me what’s wrong. It’s physically hurting me to see you like this.”
“I just can’t stop doing this. I need to stop. I’m stopping.”
“Stopping what?”
“Being a slut, that’s what! I don’t know that man,” she said, pointing toward the house. “I don’t know these men I’m sleeping with. I don’t know why I can’t stop doing this or why I even started. Before Steven, I’d only slept with four men. I’m almost forty-one!”
“I thought you were thirty-nine?”
“See, I’m a liar too.” She cried harder and I couldn’t help my laugh.
“Babe, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. It’s not fun anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. If my prince charming is out there, he missed the map.”
“Are you sure this isn’t about Julian? Did he hurt you?”
“No, if anything he saved me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean for the first time in forever, I got an inkling. Like ‘maybe if he didn’t live in fucking Iowa, I may have a shot at something real and amicable’ type inkling.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, except I’m not moving to Iowa to test chemistry. I mean, who the hell chooses to live in Iowa?”
“Hey, Midwesterners are the best kind of people and our nicest clients.”
“True,” she sniffed, while tying her hair up on top of her head.
“So, you’re done and you’re going to hold out now, good for you. It will happen, Jasmine, and at least you know it’s possible.”
“Also true.”
“Okay then. No more tears.” I pulled her back down into the hammock with me and we started swinging.
“I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said with a sigh.
“You think you really like Julian?”
“Not to that extent.”
“Maybe you’re lonely and you’re admitting it to yourself now.”
“Probably.”
“Well, you don’t have to be lonely. You can come over anytime. And at least now you know what you don’t want.”
“I’ll still be a pervert.”