Someone Else's Ocean

I choked on the answer. “Tomorrow afternoon.”

She turned in my arms again to face the sky, seconds later I felt one of her tears fall on my hand as the rest of me shattered with the weight of it.

“I understand why you didn’t tell me. I’m not

angry.”

“I want to stay. If that makes any difference at all.”

“Of course it does.”

Minutes later, in an attempt for any conversation other than the suffocating silence, I leaned in to whisper, “I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure.”

“Can you look out for Disco?”

She sniffed. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Agonizing seconds later, she finally spoke.

“So,” she said as she took a deep breath. “I’m assuming you pulled this all together last minute to break it to me gently? Did a FaceTime with NASA to lasso the moon?”

I chuckled though I was already aching. We stood wordlessly a moment longer as she clutched my arms.

“I’ll be okay. I don’t want you to worry about me. I know Ella needs you.”

“I know you will.”

“You know I would live on your planet if I could.”

I gripped her tighter to me. “The invitation stands.”

“This sucks. Of all the beaches in the world, why did you have to have your breakdown on mine?”

“I’m not at all sorry we happened.”

She sniffed again. “Me either.”

“Koti, look at me.”

“I can’t. You can’t make promises and I swear to God, that’s all I want to hear from you right now so… just give me a minute.”

“Okay.” That minute was agony as we felt the reality come crashing in through the dream we’d existed in for months. An eternity later, I turned her to face me and kissed her tear-stained cheeks.

“You’re making breakfast due to the deliverance of shitty news.”

“Deal.”

I brushed the tears away from her eyes as she looked up at me.

“Please be honest. Would you stay here with me if you could?”

“Without a second thought.”

She sniffed again before I took her lips.