Someone Else's Ocean

“I’m not okay either.”

“This is horrible.”

“Agreed.”

“Can you… will you come ho… back?”

“If I come back, we start this all over again when I leave. I don’t think I can handle it twice.”

She sobbed quietly as my heart shattered along with my coffee cup against my kitchen wall.

She sniffed as I wiped my eyes. “I’m sorry I called you. I’m so sorry. It was selfish.”

“I still can’t regret it. You are the true love of my life. You should know that.”

That was the wrong thing to say. It took her minutes of silence to speak again.

“I’ll be here, okay. I’ll be here, Ian. I’ll wait as long as you need me to. I’m being selfish so I can pay for it that way. If I wait for you, will you come?”

“Koti, don’t waste your life on love’s obligations. Things may change for you.”

“Do you think you will still love me?”

“I know I will, I’ll never stop loving you.”

“Then I’ll wait.”

>

“I can’t ask you for that.”

“You didn’t.”

“Koti, this is ridiculous. You’ve wasted enough time.”

“The stars are back, Ian, because of you, they’re back. I don’t see them the same way. Do you still want to be here?”

“More than anything.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

“No. That’s ridiculous.”

“Why? Why is it so ridiculous? I waited my whole life for you. I can wait a little longer. If you feel the same, ask me to wait.”

“No. I could never ask that of you.”

“Ask me.”

I fought the words on the tip on my tongue. “No.”

“Please ask me,” she sobbed. “You said you loved me.”

“I do. More than I ever thought possible. But this is a foolish notion. It’s your heartache speaking. I love you, I do and that’s why I refuse to let you do this.”

“It’s not foolish to me.”

I sighed. “You’re still so young. We’re talking years, I won’t be able to come to the island often, and you won’t leave.”