Someone Else's Ocean

“Not a damned chance.”

I ripped myself away feigning indifference to his touch. “How about you answer some questions for me. Like, why are you here?”

“Because I came to tell you I was an idiot and I want another chance with you.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Oh, it’s happening.”

Hand on my hips, I faced him head on. “Are you taking steroids now? Who in the hell are you to tell me what’s happening?!”

“I’m the man in your life.”

“You’re the man who left me!”

“And I’ve paid for it in every imaginable way. You remember the hell I told you I didn’t believe existed? I’ve been living in it because I can’t stand life without you. And you aren’t having this surgery.”

“Ian, I’m having it. It’s what’s best for me.”

“Why?” He shook his head, calling bullshit. “Because you’re mad at me?”

“Still an egomaniac? It’s sad to see not much has changed for you. Not everything revolves around you. Endometriosis is painful. Trust me on this.”

“And there’s a possibility the pain can lessen with childbirth.”

“Did you YouTube that fact on the way over here? Good for you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “No, I read up when I was on the island, making love to you every night and fucking you every day.”

I swallowed as he took a step toward me.

“You were holding out to have this surgery because you thought there might be a chance for a family someday. You endured the pain because you were hoping for a child. Tell me that’s not the truth.” I stayed mute as his furious eyes bore into mine, his jaw clenched. “If I thought for one second this is what you really wanted, I would walk away, but it isn’t. You don’t want this surgery. You want to have babies, in St. Thomas, my babies. Now finish dressing, damnit, I’m here to take you home.”

“There is no home.” I pulled on my blouse and started tugging on the buttons, fighting my tears I turned away from him. “It’s gone, both of our houses.”

“What?”

I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Jasmine just called to let me know Banion’s okay. He can’t even get to our street. It’s all gone. St. Thomas is in shambles.”

His face paled. “Thank Christ you weren’t there when it hit. But it’s still our home.”

I smiled ironically. “No, that was never my home.”

The doctor poked her head in the door. “Koti, I have another appointment and we didn’t really need an exam today. This visit was more for Q & A, so if you have any question feel free to call me on my cell. You can grab it at the receptionist’s desk. Good to meet you…”

“Ian,” he offered, his tone ice.

“Good to meet you, Ian.”

“She’s not having the surgery,” he said matter-of-fact, “but we appreciate your time. Nice to meet you as well.”

Dr. Zander smiled at me, her eyes alight with mischief. She was enjoying the volley between us far too much.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I told her. “I’m sorry about this.”

“She won’t be here,” Ian said, fuming as he glared at me across the bed.

The Dr. spoke up with a smile on her face. “I’ll wait for your call, Koti.”