Someone Else's Ocean

“You got your wish.” Her heart was breaking, and I could feel the pain radiating off him. Ella shook with emotion as her father cut the air with his hand furiously until she raised her eyes to his.

“You. Are. Mine,” he whispered fiercely, as he signed slow and with the same emphasis.

“But I’m not. I’m not your daughter, I’m his.”

I coughed back a sob standing on the sidelines, helpless and wanting to comfort them both.

“You are mine and you know it. Neither of us can help what your mother did, but we can move past it because of the truth, nothing will ever come between us. I love you as much now as I did the minute I found out you were coming. It was the happiest moment of my life.”

Ella broke before us, watching his hands as Ian fought with emotion, on the verge of losing his own battle. He cut the air, again and again, stomping his foot so she could feel the vibration as Ella’s shoulders fell forward in defeat. He moved swiftly toward her but remained inches away so she had no choice but to watch his plea. She lifted shimmering eyes to meet his before she followed his hands.

“I’m so proud of you. You are mine. Your sarcasm, that’s mine, your need to fix things, that’s me, your independence, me, your mean right hook, your love for superhero movies, that all comes from me. All of those things and much more. You are a reflection of me. And you will never be replaced.”

“Daddy.” She crumbled, and he stood where he was, his eyes filling as his voice broke. “But I deserve to be happy too. You are the one who pointed that out to me. And Koti makes me happy and this baby is a blessing and you will finally have the brother or sister you’ve been asking for since you were five.”

Ella cried harder as Ian stood strong, adamant on making his point as he fought his need to physically comfort her. “Look at me, little woman. I’m your father, your Dad, forever. Don’t be afraid of this change, of this baby, or of losing an ounce of my love. Don’t be afraid of anything, because you are mine.”

He pressed both hands to his chest and closed his eyes moving his body back and forth. I muffled back a sob. “You are mine, since the day your mother put you in my arms and we got linked.” He clasped his fingers together and pushed them toward her. “We are forever, Ella, nothing or no one can or will ever change that. Tell me you understand. Tell me you know that.”

She nodded before she rushed into his open arms and broke inside them with relief. Ella’s cries had Ian faltering as I coughed out my own tears. After a few minutes of their embrace, Ella lifted her soaked face from his shoulder and stretched a hand out to me. “I’m sorry, Koti. I didn’t mean to ruin it for you.”

Don’t you dare be sorry. You didn’t ruin anything. I love you and you are mine too.

She nodded as she moved from her father’s embrace and nestled into my arms. After a few minutes, she looked up at me with stained cheeks and a sheepish smile. “I hope it’s a girl.”

“I don’t,” Ian coughed out with a sigh as I shook with laughter. Ella frowned sensing her father’s smartassed comment and glanced behind at him before she looked to me for an answer.

“What?”

“Your dad is an asshole.”

“That’s not news.”

My dreams and I spent the rest of the day playing in the waves on the shore in the backyard of our new home and later that night, two childhood friends held hands beneath the stars.

“Well that went wonderfully,” Ian said with a chuckle. “Fuck, I think I had a small stroke.”

“I think it went the way it was supposed to.”

“I never wanted her to know.”

“Ian, she’s lived with it for a while. She just needed to hear from you what she already knew, that it doesn’t matter.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. Also, you’re kind of incredible. Who knew the insane man with the shitty accent and bubble butt, would turn out to be Mr. Wonderful? Definitely not me.”

He kissed the back of our clasped hands.

“I think I first loved you when I was fourteen. Not the way I do now, but I’m pretty sure I loved you even then.”

“I loved you because you gave me sweets.”

“I know,” he chuckled.

I stopped and turned to stare at my husband whose laughter lines had deepened and only made him more appealing. I reveled in the sexy grays that framed his temple. I looked forward to every year I noticed those subtle differences because it meant we would spend those years together. “Ian, how lucky are we to have met at all?”

“Coming from different worlds, we had so many chances to miss each other.”