1 1/2 Cup Picante Sauce (hot, medium or mild)
2 Tbsp. Lemon Juice – optional
Beat cream cheese and picante with hand mixer until smooth and creamy. Add lemon juice and stir well. Serve with tortilla chips or fresh vegetables.
Note: May blend in a food processor instead of using hand mixer.
Clarissa
Thankfully Theo was home because I forgot to grab Troy’s keys. Once I explained the situation, he led me to Troy’s bedroom. Inside, I can’t help but notice the view he has from his window into Dante’s bedroom. I wonder how often he watches us. But in truth, I know. Troy has always been diligent with his stalking. But can it really be considered stalking when it’s your own child you’re watching over? I decide it can’t.
I’ve been just as diligent in making him pay. And pay he has. It’s clear with every pleading look he gives me when I retrieve Dante that he wants back into my good graces. And I’m still trying to let it happen.
Since our arrangement started and due to Troy’s best behavior, guilt has been building within me for the years Dante’s missed without his father. But a part of me still stands firm in my conviction that he’d committed the worst wrong of all wrongs, threatening my livelihood, all I worked for, purposefully, with his lie. And in all truth, I never once thought as a teenager, Troy would be as eager to be in his son’s life as he’s proven to be. It was a duplicitous lie, one that could have cost me dearly, but it didn’t. And maybe I just need to take that fact at face value.
With my demand that he stay away, I gave him an out. A way of living his life carefree and without consequence. Sure, I did it out of anger and outrage, but I’ve never really understood why he kept coming back. Those early years, I could not, for the life of me, let it go, I couldn’t let him in.
Now, I hate that Troy has me questioning myself and my decisions, but I can’t imagine the last six years without Dante. Have I committed the same sin with Troy by deeming him unforgivable? I’ve taken years away he will never get back.
Deciding to table my struggle for the moment, I get back to business and glance around Troy’s room, mildly surprised how tidy he is. Then again, I know he’s been raised by his mother. He reminded me on the porch when he’d confronted me and must’ve forgotten some of our conversation the night we met.
“It’s pretty much always been just Mom and me. She’s a hardass. Doesn’t let me get away with shit.”
“Are you close?”
“Thick as thieves.”
We’ve been in his truck, making out heavily for the better part of an hour.
He works his lips against my neck.
“So, you’re still close with your mom?”
He pauses, his breath warm in my ear. “Let’s change the subject, not really in the mood to talk about Mom.”
Nerves still firing off, I stutter out more conversation as his lips glide over my skin.
“You,” I sputter as his tongue traces the shell of my ear, “oh damn,” I murmur, clutching him to me as his teeth sink into my flesh, “have a better subject in mind?”
“Fuck yes, I do,” he inches my skirt up, his warm hands covering my thighs in a gentle caress. “This okay?”
“I never do this,” I moan into his mouth.
“Uh huh, you’ve said. Is that a yes?”
“Yes.” With permission, he begins to explore.
“Clarissa,” he whispers so heatedly, my panties flood. “I need words.”
I decide on action instead and bring his hand to my center. He pushes my panties to the side and circles my entrance with the pad of his finger. He groans when he feels me soaked at his fingertips, the rumble in his chest spurring me on as I buck into his touch. It’s been so long. I need relief, I need to feel. I need something more than dark chocolate and my vibrator to get me through. I’ve been good. I’ve been better than good. I’ve been a saint since my last breakup. Looking up at Troy, I watch as he expertly plays me, his touch intoxicating, his voice pure temptation. He’s golden and beautiful and the perfect way to end months of celibacy.
“Feels so good,” I murmur to his lips as his eyes gleam brightly from where he hovers above me in the back of his severely mistreated Dodge. He’d offered to take me somewhere else, but I’d insisted we keep it at the bar parking lot until I was sure I could trust him. Until I was sure of what I wanted.
With his next kiss, the next deep thrust of his tongue, he slips a finger inside me, and I bow off the seat as he starts fucking me with it, adding another until I’m a puddle of ‘please’ beneath him.
“Troy, I need more.” I breathe out, on the verge as he brushes my clit in time with the glide of his fingers. My body shudders with the tidal wave as I come while he kisses me, his tongue and fingers working me while I convulse with pleasure beneath him. When we break apart, my forehead is covered in sweat. He studies me from above, chest heaving. It’s become abundantly clear what I want. Admiring him in the dim cabin, I grip his neck and pull his mouth to mine, kissing him with pure desire. He is by far the most beautiful man to ever touch me, and I don’t want it to end. He pulls away, satisfaction covering his lips, his beautiful bright blue eyes hooded by alcohol and desire.
“You okay?”