“So shy. I was worried for so long he would never snap out of it. But then puberty hit, and then came football, and dear God, it was like whiplash. I don’t think he ever really knew how to handle it.”
“That’s so different from the guy I know.”
“Look closer, darlin’.”
“I’m sorry?”
She shakes her head. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but I need a favor.”
“Shoot.”
Troy
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Parker: Hey, spermenator. Do you know where our girl is?
Troy: Always nice to hear from you, Parker. And no, I haven’t talked to her since this morning.
Parker: She’s not texting back.
Troy: Probably because it’s after eleven. And you’ve always had your wine and Ambien after eleven.
Parker: She told you she avoids my calls after eleven?
Troy: No.
Parker: LIAR! Women. You think you know them, then some penis comes along, and it’s no more titties before testes.
Troy: Titties before testes? That’s a thing?
Parker: I just made it a thing.
Troy: Will there be anything else?
Parker: Yes. What are your intentions with my BFF?
Troy: How about none of your damned business.
Parker: EHHH. Wrong answer.
Troy: Jesus. Even your texts are annoying.
Parker: Secretly, you adore me.
Troy: Rub your fingers together, and you’ll get an inkling of how much.
Parker: Well, you bought me a Christmas gift.
Troy: You STOLE my Grand hoodie. That wasn’t a gift.
Parker: I’m wearing it now, and it’s amazing.
Troy: Make sure you wash it before you return it.
Parker: If you want it back so much, It’s in India. Come and get it. (Devil emoji)