The Real

I mustered a grin. “Where did you come from?”

“I’m everywhere. Been seeing you a lot less lately. You finally done sucking on that bottle and if so why didn’t you just bring it here to me?”

We grinned at each other. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You smelled worse than me.”

I pulled out my wallet and he waved me off. “I’m good.”

“Abbie?”

“She took care of me. She’s good people.” Bennie stood. “I’ll be seeing you around?”

I looked back into the coffee shop. “I hope so.”

“I have a good feeling you two gonna be alright. You take care of her.”

“Thanks, Bennie, I will,” I said absently, still focused on Abbie when the bell on the door rang out beside me. Swallowing my fears, I grabbed the handle before it closed and took a step inside.

Standing in front of a wall of cups, I took my time. I had so much to say, but I knew it couldn’t be conveyed with a fucking Hallmark slogan. I needed her to know I was there as the man that met her. The man who wanted to merge my life with hers. Without a doubt, I wanted her to know she came first, not my pride or my selfish needs. And once I did tell her I wanted her to know I would respect her decision.

Everything that had happened between us up until the point our weaknesses collided had coincided with the needs of my heart. But regardless of the words she spoke at the museum, about not knowing about the truth, I wanted to tell her. Not because I wanted her sympathy, because I had it and I hated it. But because she deserved the truth. And I was a slave to my love.

It may have started out with me and my selfish haze, for my need to believe in something better for myself, but she would always come first.

I’d made a mistake with the original woman I’d promised forever to.

I’d damn near made the same mistake again with the rightful woman who deserved that promise.

I needed to grow the fuck up and it was time to break the pattern no matter the outcome.

I chose my cup and walked to the small booth across from the macaroni table. Abbie sat typing away, earphones in as she moved subtly with the beat of her music. I knew the second she became aware of me when she froze, and her eyes found mine while I took my seat and opened my Mac.

In her bright blue eyes, I saw a mix of relief and fear. I kept her gaze as I typed with my heart in my throat.

Cameron’s Mac: Hi.

She bit her lip, her chin wobbling as she typed back.

Abbie’s Mac: Hi.

Tears filled her eyes and fell, and it took everything in me not to go to her.

Cameron’s Mac: Please don’t cry.

Abbie’s Mac: I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I’m afraid.

Cameron’s Mac: Don’t be afraid. Please don’t be afraid of me.

Abbie’s Mac: I’m not afraid of you.

We held our gaze for a good minute as her tears fell.

Cameron’s Mac: I love you. No matter what. You know that, right? Nothing can take the time we had away from us. Nothing could ever touch that. Okay?

Abbie’s Mac: Okay.

There was no way to go into it lightly. This was the heavy we’d avoided for far too long. I wasn’t wasting any more time.