The Real

“Oh, this is happening? Really, Cameron? Are you sure about that?”

I stared at her in confusion as she looked up at me with contempt. “I don’t think you know what this is.”

“What are you saying?”

“You want to play villain instead of victim? Fine. But unless you can admit to being both we have nowhere to go.”

Shock filtered through me as she challenged me. I stood slack-jawed as she called me out on my last lie. I couldn’t look away from the woman I loved. Her commanding eyes washed me in their blue fire, and in a way, I felt cleansed. I’d never been more vulnerable in my life. Every card I had was laid bare at her feet, every emotion I felt reflected in her eyes. I had nowhere to go.

She pressed in, seeing it all. “No more secrets, Cameron and no more hiding. She’s the goddamn bad guy. She hurt you physically and mentally and she doesn’t get a pass for that. Especially not from you.”

“What do you want?” I said as acid lit my veins.

“I want the truth.”

“You want me to admit being a victim? Fine. I’m a victim, but it was never by choice, and I fought my way out of that hell by myself, so I think I’m entitled to a little discretion. No man in the world wants to admit to anything like that. No man in the world ever wants to talk about anything like that, Abbie.”

I glanced around the sidewalk and found we were alone. “You think I wanted you to know, to see she hit me?”

“I did see. I saw it, I just didn’t know what I was seeing! And I can tell you now, I will never be able to forget it. She hurt you. Do you think you’re somehow less of a man because of it? She did this, that makes her a coward. You’re still a man, Cameron. And you’re still going to bleed no matter how strong you are. She’s the fucking villain, not you. Just tell me you know that much.”

My throat filled with acid and I slowly nodded.

“You didn’t have to lie to me.”

“I’m sorry. But I had my reasons. You saw them. They were written all over my face. I had to protect my happiness, but what I had with my mom I lost, and what I thought I had with Kat was beaten out of me. So, I’m sorry I fucking lied to you. I shouldn’t have. But it was over with her a long time ago. You weren’t the only one afraid of masks, Abbie. Not by a damn long shot.”

She nodded and looked down at the cement below us. “My ex, Luke,” she started.

“I know,” I interrupted.

“What?” She said in a whisper.

“Your brother,” I said connecting the dots. “I know.”

She swallowed. “When?”

“The night of Bree’s wedding. He tracked me down at the bar. Mrs. Zingaro, too. She slipped up one night after you went upstairs. She said he attacked you and her son stopped him.”

“It wasn’t their place,” she said tightening her hold on her bag.

“I just wasn’t sure if I’d ever hear it from you.”

Residual anger stirred as I recalled the conversation with her brother.

“It seems so pointless now anyway,” she said carefully.

“Don’t do that, don’t compare yours to mine. Don’t do that,” I said stuffing my hands in my coat. “Tell me, Abbie.”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to relive it. I don’t need to. I’ve done enough of that. I got fixated and it wasn’t healthy. If you know anything you know enough. He was controlling and manipulative and he scared the shit of me. But the thing is, I got over it without you. And you helped me stomp the rest of my fears out. I don’t want or need you to know every detail and I don’t need to know yours unless you want to tell me. It’s just some bad shit that happened to us on the way to each other. And if it keeps us apart, they win. I didn’t want to admit my weakness for a man who used me any more than you wanted to tell me about Kat. And I know you tried. I knew we weren’t invincible, Cameron. We have plenty of chinks in our armor. I know that, it’s life, but with you I feel a hell of a lot stronger. That night I found out about Kat, I was afraid when you got upset, but in my heart, I know you would never hurt me. I won’t believe that now or ever. You just aren’t capable. And it’s not that I’m glad this happened, but in loving you, I realized I could trust myself again. Luke’s gone, you’re here, that’s all that matters. I just want you to be sure.”

I swallowed her hard admission as she had mine and did my best not to ask any more questions, specifically those of an address. When Oliver left me at the bar that night, he was none the wiser, other than what doubt I could try to erase that I genuinely loved his sister.

And I was destroyed by the news she’d been treated that way. It only fed my head to the bullshit notion she was better off without me. But that’s what it was, bullshit and she was calling me out on it.

If I wanted her to believe, I had to believe it myself.

“I miss you so much,” I said studying her profile in the half-light casting shadows from the café. “Losing you is killing me. Just tell me what to do.”