“Dean?” I asked stupidly, hating my answer. “We had one heavy year in college, okay? That was centuries ago and he is engaged,” I said, throwing my arms around his neck.
He looked down at me, his body tense under my touch.
“And if he weren’t?”
I shrugged. “Look, I’m tired. There is nothing between us. It’s history. We were talking about old times. I realize how it might’ve looked, but we are over, okay?”
“I don’t want to see him around you, Dallas. He doesn’t look at you like an old friend.”
“Fine,” I agreed quickly.
“Fine?”
“Yes, Josh, I don’t want to talk about him anymore. Let’s go to
bed.”
“Why do I feel like you aren’t telling me everything?” Josh eyed me suspiciously as I kissed his stubble filled chin without answering him. “I’m serious, Dallas. I don’t want to see him.” Josh proceeded to pick me up, throw me on the bed and show me just how serious he was. I lay awake that night trying to figure out why I was so desperate to keep Josh and my relationship with him. I lay on his chest with his arms wrapped around me as I stroked his hair, thinking of Dean and his blue gaze.
That same familiar guilt washed over me as I stared at Josh in his slumber. I couldn’t stop thinking about one man while I held another.
And then I remembered why and gripped Josh tighter to me
I parked in my usual spot, cursing the Texas heat as I wiped a mascara smudge away from my eye. In less than the ten minutes it took from my door to the parking garage at the hospital, I went from completely ready to a wilted hot mess. I groaned inwardly as Dean pulled up next to me and parked. I cursed my luck as I waited out of courtesy for him to exit his Jag. I could keep our interaction professional, friendly. I had no idea what was going on in his head the night we went to dinner, but I was sure it was nothing more than flattering old memories. Of course, the attraction was still there, but for all I knew we were now two different people. I was sure he had gone home to Helena, finding the situation as redundant as I had.
“Good morning.” He smiled as he joined me in our walk toward the elevator.
“Dean,” I said as casually as I could when the smell of him intoxicated me immediately.
“I went to look for you a couple of times last week to take you to lunch and could never find you,” he said, glancing at me as we stopped in front of the elevator.
“I’ve been really busy,” I said lightly, trying to match the conversation with my tone.
“Ah,” he said, giving me the look that told me he knew I was full of shit. “So how mad was he?”
“Well, let’s just say you and I—” I gestured between us “—will not be going to any intimate dinners for two, for the next…decade.”
“That bad.” He smirked.
“It looked bad,” I said, stepping onto the elevator as he followed.
He pushed the buttons for his floor and mine and I had to fight a desperate battle to keep my eyes averted. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect suit, and perfectly matched tie.
“When he’s not being a jealous guy, is he good to you?”
“Very, very good Dean, and I can’t screw it up,” I pleaded as I braved a look at him. His jaw hardened as he nodded at me with understanding.
Why did I suddenly feel guilty? Dean didn’t deserve an explanation.
“I really would like to catch up, but now—”
“I get it, Dallas. No big deal,” he said, moving to the opposite side of the elevator to let someone on. I felt the loss of him and sighed. He turned to look at me, his gaze intense as he took in my appearance and then quickly answered a smile of the woman next to him. I felt the heat race through me at my instant pang of jealousy. I couldn’t stop staring at him. I spent every night of the past two weeks wondering what would have happened if I would have let him kiss me.
When we were the last two left in the elevator and it was my turn to exit, I turned to him.
“Why did you try to kiss me?” Damn it, Dallas, let it go!
He took a step forward and held the door for me as he leaned in. “You look beautiful today, Dallas. Have a good one.”