The Reluctant Romantics Box Set (The Fall, The Mind, The Heart)

“No. You are leaving again,” she said, her lip quivering.

I shook my head. “We can worry about that later. Open the box,” I said, smiling as I leaned in, taking her lips gently to keep them from shaking.

When she opened it, I didn’t see relief nor disappointment, though I could feel something else rolling off of her. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“It’s the year I make you my wife, Dallas,” I whispered in her ear as she held up her hair so I could clasp the necklace behind her.

She expelled every bit of breath in her lungs as she turned to face me. “Come again?”

“It’s the year we get married,” I insisted, weighing her reaction to the year of the necklace. Her graduation year.

She nodded, grasping the delicate chain, and then her face twisted as her tears came out in a rush.

“You’re leaving,” she heaved out. “I mean, I knew it was coming. I thought I was ready.” She crumbled before me as I rushed to get to her. I actually heard my heart go silent before resuming its pace.

“Look at me,” I said, raising her tearful gaze my way. “It’s a promise from me to you that I’ll come back for you, Dallas.”

“I don’t know if I can do this again,” she said, suddenly looking exhausted. It was if she’d been fighting the looming dread of my departure for too long. There would never be a good time to talk about it. The longer we stayed together, the harder it became.

“Dallas,” I tried again. “I told you when we started this that you meant more to me than just sex. I love you. I want to marry you.”

“I love you, too. I was scared…of this—” she motioned with her hand “—feeling this way.” Now she was the one pacing nervously. “So you want me to wait for you? For three years after you leave?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want, Dallas, and I’ll wait for you,” I murmured as she tracked the hard wood of the porch.

“And then what? I come to New York when I graduate?”

“I don’t know. We can work it out,” I said, knowing it wouldn’t b

e that simple. I’d still have a year left.

“It’s too much pressure on us. Let’s just enjoy the night, okay? We’ll talk about it later,” she dismissed as she tried to escape for the party. I gripped her arm, turning her around.

“Too much for who?” I snapped.

“For you, Dean. It’s your track record I’m worried about. And it’s kind of a ridiculous notion.”

Jagged pieces of my heart flew out of my grasp as she threw my proposal away.

“What in the hell are you talking about?” I was furious now, the hurt seeping through my veins, overpowering my intentions. I knew I was out of line. I was panicking.

“It’s three years, not three months,” she reasoned, as if she were talking herself out of it.

“We will see each other. I’ll fly down as much as I can,” I said, knowing that would be next to impossible. I was making promises I couldn’t keep. The pain tore through me as I watched her face contort with the same. We’d avoided this for a reason.

“You fly down as often as you can from medical school?” she asked, calling my bluff. “It’s only going to get harder for me here.”

“You don’t think I’m good enough for you,” I snapped, dropping the hand of hers I was holding to keep her still. “You never have.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. I’m the one who had to compete with half the school, Dean!” she reminded me, the way she did every time we fought, throwing it in my face.

“And you can’t fucking let it go!” I roared, truly angry and hurt. I’d never seen her so upset. It was clear to me we were both exaggerating an argument because we were terrified of losing each other. Our fights were typically fun. This was just plain painful.

I pulled her tightly to me and she resisted at first and then let her tears fall. She looked up at me, helpless. “I brought you here to propose, and I fucked it all up, forgive me.” I kissed her, drawing it out as long as possible to avoid what came next.

“No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dean. I love you. Those words are all I’ve ever wanted to hear. I just can’t deal with how I feel about you and you being gone.” She cried quietly as I watched her. “So what do we do?” No amount of closeness at this point could dull the impending heartbreak for either of us. “It’s been the best year of my life.”

“Mine, too, but we could try. Dallas, say you will try with me,” I pleaded.