“Don’t you dare,” Dean hissed behind me. “Dallas!”
“She won’t talk to you about it,” Cammie piped sarcastically behind me, “She won’t talk to anyone. If I hadn’t been there, I would have never known. Don’t think for one minute you weren’t responsible. I watched her go from a happy, confident, and beautiful twenty-year-old to a complete fucking—”
I couldn’t hear anymore. I knew what I had done. I knew what lengths I had taken the loss of both Dean and our baby to extremes. I wasn’t exaggerating when I told my mother I’d lost it. I’d lost our baby, followed quickly by losing Dean, and then I’d lost my mind.
And before he waltzed into my life, I had just gotten it back. My fear was not unfounded. Dean had completely consum
ed me again, and I’d let him. I made it as far as the small hallway leading out into the courtyard when he caught up with me.
“Stop!” It wasn’t a request. It was an order. I felt the hallway narrow and put my hand up to steady myself. I never wanted him to know. Never. I’d kept it from everyone, even Rose. I turned to face him. He was beyond angry.
“What the hell were you think—”
“No, you fucking stop,” I warned. “Don’t, if we have a hope of a future together you will let this go and never ask me about it again.”
“Don’t you dare threaten me with that!”
“It’s the only way. If you push this, Dean, we are over,” I warned.
“What the hell do you mean?”
“I told you. It’s simple. You missed a lot of years.”
“Fine, you aren’t the girl I left. I’ll take my chances. Dallas, how could you have not told me you were pregnant?” his voice cracked. “Or that you lost—”
“That’s right,” I snapped. “I lost. You didn’t know any fucking differently.”
His eyes widened at my vicious snap.
“If I had known—”
“You’d what?” I walked toward him, catching him off guard. “You would have come back to me then? Say the words. Tell me a baby would have changed your mind so I can hate you more than I do!”
“Hate me…Dallas, I didn’t know.”
“Tell me, Dean, when would have been a good time to tell you? You just stopped calling. I found out a week after you decided I wasn’t important to you anymore. Two weeks after that, it was too late.”
“In New York, you never said a word.”
“Why would I? You were done. Would that have been a better time?” I took another step toward him, all my anger and hurt coming back in waves.
Dean’s eyes watered as he studied me.
“I would have never seen you again after Christmas break. If I hadn’t flown to New York, it would have been over the night you boarded that plane and left me here. When you left Texas, you were done with me. Everything you promised me was a lie.” I took another step forward, glaring at him. “Everything Cammie said is the truth and it was so much worse than what you could imagine, Dean. You wouldn’t even have recognized me if you would have come back. So I guess it was for the best. Don’t worry. I never blamed you for the baby.”
His face crumbled as he palmed his forehead, his tears falling rapidly.
“Save it. It turns out that water can’t wash away everything, Dean.”
“Dallas,” he croaked, his voice bleeding as I walked out the door. “I came back for you.”
The whirring sound was the hardest for me to deal with, always letting me know they were coming. I braced myself for their arrival, but it was always the threat of them that hurt the most. I couldn’t help but to ask for quick mercy. I was so tired, so weak. For the first time in this dream, I wanted them to catch up with me. The golden sky was mocking me. I felt anything but warmth as I stared at the sun surrounded by tornadoes. I clutched my chest, willing myself to be brave as I started to walk toward them. It was time…
POUND…POUND…POUND!
I shot out of bed, my chest heaving, and looked at my clock. 9:00 P.M.
I was covered in sweat, but was already stumbling toward the door. The pounding began again as I fumbled between sleep and reality, still reeling from my dream. I opened my door only to close it when I saw Dean’s angry face.