I shrugged. “It’s our nature. Nothing we can do.”
“I can.”
“Rose, you are too much of a softy to turn hard now. Don’t let his deat
h make you bitter toward everything. Use it.”
“I am sure you have no idea what you are saying.” She sniffed again.
“I don’t…I am just as lost as you.”
“I keep asking God why, Dallas, and he won’t answer me. Do you think he even listens?”
“He did a shitty thing to you, Rose. He’s probably giving you some time.”
“Why do you believe in him? In God?”
“Some of it’s fear, replaced often with awe of the things I see. He cured Lance Carson.”
“I thought that was a lost cause.”
“That’s my point.” I pulled the jacket over her, trying to keep her warm, the cold seeping into us from the ground beneath. The day was appropriately dreary and overcast. I couldn’t think of a more fitting scene. I could tell the house would have been amazing by the layout. The heartbreak from that sight alone was enough to make my tears resume.
“Dallas, if this is it, I’m not happy.”
“Time, Rose. Maybe one day it will all make sense.”
“I doubt it.”
We sat in silence as she started to cry softly again. I stroked her hair and spoke my next words in a whisper.
“I love you, little sister. It’s all going to be okay. Well, that’s bullshit. I know that’s bullshit. But we will smile and laugh again one day, I promise.”
“Good enough. I would do anything for a good laugh.”
“You will.”
I took a long look at the tree and saw Grant had carved their names in it with their wedding date today. It was all I could do to keep from openly sobbing. I looked down at my sister and pulled her tightly to me, completely helpless.
“Dallas, let’s do something…better. I am sure we can start a practice, but let’s do something, something else. I don’t want to be just another surgeon and you can do better than runny noses and broken bones.”
“Rose, don’t worry about the practice.”
“It’s all I have left.” She turned her head to look up at me, her glossy eyes intent on my reaction. I indulged her.
“What are you thinking?”
She looked back toward the still water of the pond. “I don’t know, but it’s just not good enough anymore. I know you went into oncology.”
“Rose, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you,” I offered quickly.
Her body moved lightly with her chuckle. “Grant really did try to keep it from me.”
“I didn’t have a fighting chance with you two,” I said, smiling.
“Not at all,” she agreed. “Honestly, he was excited about it. We can do better, Dallas…than what we had planned.”
“I agree, just let me think on it, Rose.”