He licked me through my panties and I began panting as I felt the tug coming for me. “I crave this now,” he said, moving my panties to the side and flicking his tongue across my waiting center. “Licking—” flick “—you—” flick “—I could dine on this alone and sustain—” flick, flick, flick. I put my hands on his shoulders, letting him have his way. He slipped his fingers inside me gently while remaining on his knees. I felt his tongue explore me at my entrance where it met his fingers and leaned into his kiss. He only toyed with me, leaving me close to the edge but never pushing me over.
“It’s you.” He lifted off his knees and planted a gentle kiss on my lips then backed away, paralyzing me with his eyes but gripping me to him. “It’s definitely you.” I felt the words hit me deep and closed my eyes in unison with him as our lips met in a soft kiss. He dipped his tongue in, coaxing mine into a dizzying dance, and I felt a moan escape my throat. He pulled away again and my heart skipped, on the verge of believing that he did feel for me. I pulled him to me and jumped up to wrap my legs around him. He caught me and cupped my ass, holding me tightly to him as he searched my eyes. I leaned in slowly, kissed him this time with my own brand of gentleness, and watched his amazed expression when I pulled away. My lips shook again, very much like they did before our first kiss, and I heard my heart pounding in my ears. It was an addictive rush, more than just attraction, more than what I’d labeled this whole situation. It was just...more. I went in again, unable to get enough. They were nothing like the kisses we had shared last night. It was...different. I dropped my legs as he pulled me into him again. It was if we were fighting without saying a word. His kiss ran through me, weakening my knees, and they buckled as he gripped me tighter, letting me know he had me. And with that kiss, he did.
He pulled back, but kept my gaze and I stumbled forward into his chest. He smiled and nodded his head as if to confirm what had just happened. I simply stood looking up at him with fresh eyes while my heart banged against my chest.
“Ready to have some fun?”
I nodded in bewilderment as he scooped me up into both arms and sat me in the huge float at the edge of the pond. He pulled the cooler in and grabbed a few towels.
I sat in a daze, staring at him as he paddled us to the center of the pond.
I can’t love him already, and he can’t love me. That’s insane.
No way. He can’t love me. This can’t be real. I dismissed it all, chalking it up to being without for way too long. I wouldn’t go another year without sex. Apparently, it made a person delusional.
“Is it as pretty in the day as it is at night, Rose?” I nodded furiously, not taking my eyes off of him. He chuckled in delight and surprise as we both realized I was in no way referring to the land. His hair was perfectly straight but was so thick it feathered on each side of his chin as he tilted his head while rowing the small plastic paddles, leading us further into the pond. He pulled in the ores and plucked a beer from the cooler as I sat back, taking in the sun. I smiled and closed my eyes, thankful for being forced to have a day off.
“Tell me what you want, Rose.”
“Another beer,” I chuckled, holding my hand out and meeting his gaze.
“I’m serious. What do you see happening...you know, in the future?” He lit his joint and began smoking it as casually as one would smoke a cigarette. I laughed as he coughed through his first drag.
“It’s really hard to take you seriously when you’re smoking that stuff.”
“It’s not mind altering, baby. It relaxes me, I...um, need this more than you could ever know.” He paused briefly before he looked up, admitting, “I’m afraid to hit the bottle when I need to relax or take the edge off. My father...well, he was a real bastard when he was on the bottle, and I don’t want to end up like him. I don’t want to depend on anything, really, but it’s just been so fucking hard these last few years...just...hard.” His face went a little dark so I gave him an honest answer and a subject change.
“My sister and I want to start our own practice.”
He smirked a little, seemingly happy with my reply. “What else,” he prodded, tapping his ash into the water.
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Bullshit.” He coughed again, and I could clearly see the hard line in his shoulders disappear.
“Wow, that must be some good stuff.”
“It is.” He nodded. “Tell me what you want.”
“I want the life of an accomplished surgeon.”
“You can do that all on your own.”
“I don’t need anything else.” I was tempted to tell him then that I was a born romantic, and that I wanted a fairytale romance that led to a happy ending with beautiful children and toasts on every anniversary, and then some. But as many premature overtures as he’d made, I still didn’t feel comfortable confessing it to him...yet.
He cracked open a beer and handed it to me. I enjoyed the cold liquid as it went down my throat and sunk further into the cushion of the seats that held us upright and facing each other.
“Rose, you will be an accomplished surgeon. There has got to be something else that you want for your life. Don’t you want more?”
And just as I’d convinced myself I wouldn’t confess what my heart held sacred, I bent. “I want what my parents have.”
“Your parents?”
“They are my ideal. I look at them and see so much love in their faces. It’s one of those things you have to see to understand. They could be in a full-blown, raging fight and you can still tell they are ridiculously in love and have been since they met in their twenties. It’s amazing what they have. I don’t expect that for myself, but if you want to know what I really want it’s that. It’s an unrealistic standard.” I shrugged my shoulders and he leaned i
n.
“Done.”