The Reluctant Romantics Box Set (The Fall, The Mind, The Heart)

“I just really wanted to, I guess.”

“And I love you more for it,” he said, finally breaking our hug and grabbing my bag from my SUV. Grant hadn’t said the words to me and I was slightly stunned at his admission. I figured he would in his own time and that right now he wasn’t exactly worried about how I would interpret them. Still something inside my chest squeezed hard.

His father’s house was nestled in the Smokies and looked exactly like Grant had described. It was a small log cabin and had a ton of charm. I fell in love with it instantly.

“You’re going to sell it?” I said quietly as we walked to the doorway.

“I want the home in Texas more. Besides, I think this will be too painful, you know...without him here.”

“I understand. I’m sorry I said anything.”

“Don’t be. I love it, too. I’ll miss it.”

His eyelids were slipping shut and he was way too pale. Once he set down my bags, I ordered him to bed. He refused until I joined him and we had our arms wrapped around each other. Once settled, he quickly fell into a deep sleep, and I got to work inside the house, cleaning, cooking, and preparing freezer meals for him to heat up.

I waited until his father was awake to greet him. When I walked in, I immediately noticed he was a deep shade of yellow. His room was small in comparison to the size of his large oak bed, and I scanned the machine next to it, assessing his vitals. My heart dropped when I took in his features. Grant was a carbon copy of his father, who was currently gasping for air and moaning in pain. I stamped down my tears but had a horrible time with my quivering lip. It took all my strength to smile at him with my heart sinking in my chest. As a doctor, I’d seen cases like this without faltering. As someone that loved Grant, it was too much to bear.

“You must be Rose. Ah, honey, you are a dream to look at.”

“I am, sir. Nice to meet you.”

“Call me Davis.”

“I will, Davis, thank you. How are you feeling?” I asked as I approached his bed with the confidence of the doctor I was training to be.

“Like I’m dying.” His smile was supposed to comfort me, so I returned it the best I could.

“Well, let’s at least take advantage of the good drugs. I’ll administer this to you when the nurse comes back in.”

“I want to be awake for this,” he said adamantly.

“Davis.” I started trying to get my wording right. “Grant told me you have been refusing the meds. I know you love your son, but please know he is losing his mind over this. I’m asking you for him. Please just take a little of the medicine so he doesn’t have to hear you scream out and so you can be a little more comfortable. We can give you a light dose. Please don’t let this hurt more than it has to.”

He simply nodded and I took a seat next to him. As soon as the nurse came back she happily administered the medication and left us to talk.

“His momma was beautiful, too. Did a number on me, but I expected it when I married her. She was way too antsy, never liked it here.”

“Grant told me she left when he was very young.”

“She was a decent mother to him. She just beat me to the punch,” he said, gasping as more pain hit him.

“Davis, if it hurts you to talk, then I’ll let you rest.” I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until his pain passed and I exhaled it.

“Oh, honey, I’ve been dealing with this shit for years. I’m ready, you know. I think I’ve just been hanging on for my boy.”

I sat for hours by his side, horrified for what Grant had to endure as his father drifted in and out on the morphine, a lot of his words incoherent. When he was finally peacefully asleep, I went to check on Grant, who was still out. I walked onto the back porch and looked around. Even though dusk had set, I could see dozens of tall pines in the back yard surrounded by scattered plane parts. I walked down, looking around at the various pieces of metal and stopped at the lone cockpit of a small plane. Aside from the pilot and copilot seat, there was only a foot of space before the plane ended. It was simply a small piece of the whole picture and I found it almost comical. Why in the world would anyone have so many worthless pieces of planes in their backyard?

“Hi, baby.” I jumped a little as Grant approached. “Sorry, it was either warn you I was coming and scare you a little or scare the shit out of you a lot.”

I giggled as I grabbed the hand he offered. “What is with the graveyard?”

“We were going to build planes together. That was our dream,” he said as he lifted me into the copilot seat. I looked around with unease as he took his seat on the other side and let out a deep breath.

“A family business and all that, but he started drinking after my mother left us. It took a few years for him to bottom out. One of us had to be a grown up. I hated him for it. I really did. I lost so much respect for him. Now I feel guilty for the words I said. He was just drinking through the divorce. You know, my mother broke him,” he said with contempt. “She did. She broke him. And even when he eased up on the bottle, I refused to listen to him. I wouldn’t let him back in. I was thirteen and I’d decided he wasn’t worth it. I left to live with my mom and I think it broke him even more.”

I stayed quiet as he told me about his regret. I was sure he knew he wasn’t to blame for his father’s mistakes or the fact that he was a rebellious teenager.

“I think in a way we killed who he was.” He exhaled harshly, and I couldn’t take it anymore.