The place was wall to wall; people stopped us to say hi as we passed by crowded tables not waiting to be seated by the hostess who was stuck taking payments at the front register. There was a group of high school kids exiting a booth in the corner and I headed that way with the others following close behind. No one seemed to be staring and pointing fingers so I felt some of the tension ease as I slid into the booth.
The noise and din of the place actually felt good. I’d been afraid that everywhere I went in our small town would bring back memories of the times I’d spent, more like wasted with my ex, but I was happy to say there was no taint of that here. I wasn’t lying when I told Carrie that I didn’t miss Patti; it might be fucked up but the moment I realized what she was whatever I felt for her had died. That doesn’t say much for the strength of my commitment and maybe that’s what scared me most of all. That I’d fooled myself for so long, and had been willing to spend the rest of my life with someone that I hadn’t really been in love with. Not the kind of binding love that the men of my family were known for. I know for a fact if Carrie had done such a thing Josh would’ve found a way; then again he would never have squandered his love on someone unworthy. Not like I had.
I made a conscious decision then and there not to let that shit eat away at me anymore. It was over, it had happened and there was no going back and changing shit. The only thing left to do was move on from here, lesson learned. With that thought in mind I felt the rest of my angst leave me, and my shoulders relaxed as the others argued back and forth teasingly. Josh had Carrie sitting practically in his lap, which was to be expected and my little sister and her boy weren’t much better. I smiled at them happy as fuck that there was no lingering feeling of envy. I was going to be okay after all.
The waitress was there in less than a minute, my kinda service; then again Millie knows how I am. “Hey Millie you guys got new menus, how the fuck long was I out of it?” I had my head buried in the menu thinking maybe I might change shit up from my usual. I fielded a kick under the table from Josh who seemed to be having trouble finding space for his legs.
“What the fuck bro?” I picked up my head the third time he did it only to have him incline his head to the left.
Fuck me. “You’re not Millie, who are you? You’re not from around here.” Okay there Mr. Smooth take it easy, one thing at a time. She was just standing there looking at me and for some reason I became pissed way the fuck off.
“Well who are you?”
“Sorry I’m Kadyn, I’ll be your server.”
“Where’s Millie?” Do not ask me why I was being such a dick to this girl because I have no clue. My brother meanwhile is looking at me like he wants to take me out back for a round or two. Ordinarily I would want to kick my own ass for my behavior but I couldn’t seem to stop, something about her pissed me off. I had a weird feeling in the pit of my gut and my skin prickled. What the fuck?
“Don’t mind him, Kadyn is it? He’s just surly when he hasn’t eaten, we’ll start with a pot of coffee while this bunch decides what they want to eat.” Carrie saved me from making an even bigger ass of myself.
She cleared the table quickly and walked away looking a little harried while the others handed my ass to me. I felt about two feet tall by the time they were through raking me over the coals. I decided to ignore her on her subsequent trips to the table keeping my mouth shut. I had the feeling if I didn’t Josh might knock me the fuck out he was glaring at me so hard.
Each time she came to the table as much as I tried I couldn’t resist taking covert peeks at her. She was gorgeous as fuck, but so was the other one. Unlike Patricia this Kadyn chick seemed kinda quiet though. The others joked around with her which I guess was to make up for my less than stellar introduction, but I kept to the sidelines and said nothing. I saw the tattoo on her wrist and the piercing in her nose and wondered where else she was inked and pierced? Kill that shit Matthew no way no how. After about her third trip she seemed more relaxed and the way she smiled at Josh and Andrew for some reason pissed me the fuck off. I was back to glowering at her but I didn’t say anything more. Josh must’ve kicked me ten times under the damn table and the last time I grumbled at her when she asked me something about my order everyone acted like I’d kicked a puppy when she walked away.