A car horn blares outside, jilting us from our daydream. She looks at the time and shoots out of the chair. “Sorry, I have to go. It’s much later than I realized.” She puts the chair back in its usual spot and heads to the door. Just before she exits, she smiles at me and murmurs, “Thank you for telling me.”
I return the smile. “You’re welcome.”
Melanie
LIFE HAS BEEN SO HECTIC the past couple days. With the Christmas holiday approaching, everyone is either getting stressed or getting ready to go on vacation, thus more stress. I had originally planned to take a few days off and head up to Long Island, but I don’t see that happening anymore.
I haven’t been able to shake Roman’s past since he told me. I can’t explain what I felt in that room that night. It wasn’t pity, nor was it sadness. I mean, yes, it’s downright heartbreaking and awful, but I can’t shake this feeling; this pull that I feel toward him won’t stop.
At work, I find myself thinking about him and wanting to go talk to him. But, with most people taking days off, my rotations have gotten longer and longer. I don’t have as much time as I had before to easily sit with him for a while. In fact, the last few times I went to check on him, Dr. Ferguson was with me or his family was visiting. We haven’t really had a chance to talk since he told me his story, which is a good thing.
Gia warned me about getting too close to a patient, and my job is my life. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it. Trying to explain to her that Roman is just my patient was harder than I thought. Even she could tell there is a connection and she hasn’t even seen us together.
On the way to work, I stop off at the store to pick up a small gift for Raya and Duke’s new home. They purchased a bigger house, still on the beach, but just a little larger. I can see it in their eyes that they’re ready to have more kids, and I’m happy for them. Seeing them together isn’t as hard for me as it used to be.
It certainly wasn’t easy seeing my ex-boyfriend marry one of my best friends. But, when two people are in love and destined to be together, who am I to stand in their way? I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me so why would I go about doing it to someone else?
As I glance around the gift shop, I come upon little trinkets and cute Christmas decorations. Oh, crap. I need to put up my tree. I walk around the store looking at their holiday displays and head to the back to check out their book section. Looking for something good, I scan the shelves for anything that might pop out at me. Yes, I am one to judge a book by its cover, but can you blame me? The cover is the one thing that draws my attention. Once it’s grabbed, then the synopsis has to suck me in. I’ve managed to read so many stories from authors who are still unknown and I’ve enjoyed every last one of them. My eyes catch a new find and I purchase the book in quick fashion. Once I’m all checked out, I head toward the hospital and hope that today I’ll have a little more time to speak to Roman.
As I walk out of the locker room and walk toward the nurses station to clock in, Amanda pulls me off to the side.
She whispers, “Hey, heads up. Your boy got some bad news today and he’s not taking it very well.”
I scowl. “What do you mean my boy?”
“Don’t be foolish. Anyway, Dr. Ferguson found an infection in his face, so I had to assist him and cut away at the underlying layers. It wasn’t a pretty sight. His face is going to have some definite scarring.”
My eyes widen. “Oh, god. How is he?”
“Like I said, not good. But that wasn’t the worst part. His other burns are fine, in fact, almost healed. It’s his spine. He had a CT scan earlier and it didn’t look too good. Dr. Ferguson said he would need lots of physical therapy and said he wouldn’t be able to go back to the fire department. I mean, he said there’s a probable chance that he won’t pass the physical exam, especially having to withstand the weight of the tank on his back.”
“I…I can’t imagine what he must be going through.” I turn to start walking toward his room, but Amanda stops me.
“Look, he needs some space right now. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go in there. His family was here earlier and they were all pretty shaken up by it. The guy was just told he could never be a firefighter again. His career is over. He probably wants to be alone right now.”
Heeding her warning, I agree and check in on the other patients first. After two hours of paperwork, washing bedpans, cleaning up vomit, and completing my normal duties, I decide to check in on him.
Knocking on his door first, I push it open and peek inside. His eyes are glued to the TV. Stepping inside and shutting the door behind me, I glance at the TV. He’s watching a rerun episode of The Walking Dead, one of my favorites.
I smile as I step closer to his bed. “Hey, do you need anything?”
He keeps his stare directed at the TV. “Nope.”
I glance at his dinner tray. “You haven’t eaten. Want me to feed you again?” I ask, offering a humorous gesture.
He ignores me, still staring at the TV. “Come on, you need to eat before it gets cold.” I step around the bed and push the tray of food closer to him. At that instant, his hand swings and knocks into the food tray, causing it to crash to the ground.
His dark eyes
bore into mine as he scolds me. “I’m not hungry. Just get out.”
I sigh. “Listen, I know you must be hurting but–”
He barks at me, “But what? You have no fucking idea what I’m going through, so why don’t you mind your own business and leave me alone? Don’t come in here unless you’re doing your job.”
I keep my face calm and hard, not letting him see how badly he just hurt me. I bend down to clean up the food on the floor and toss it in the trash. I rush out of the room at lightning speed and race to the female bathroom. Holding back the tears, I tell myself that he’s lashing out at me because he’s angry and broken. It’s nothing that I particularly did to upset him, but seeing him so enraged really jolted me. I guess Amanda was right.
I don’t return to his room for the rest of my shift.