Her gratitude sends chills down my spine and a hint of a tear threatens to trickle down my cheek. “Mrs. Zeppieri, I’m so honored you feel that way, but I didn’t do anything special.”
Her hands close around mine. “Oh, but you did.”
******
Just before the end of my shift, I make my rounds through all the rooms, cleaning up whatever trash they have. Entering Roman’s room, I notice his TV is still on. Thinking that he’s awake, I duck out the door, not wanting him to see me. On second thought, I peek inside again and see him sound asleep.
I grab the TV remote and shut if off, causing the room to immediately grow dark. The open curtains let the natural moonlight brighten up parts of the floor. Heading toward his food, I smile as I gaze down at it. Most of the food is gone. He ate today.
Content with his progress, I grab the plate and turn to toss it in the trash, but just as I’m about to drop it in, I see the small Christmas tree ornament inside. My jaw drops and a hint of anger flows through my veins. That fucker threw out my ornament.
I reach down to grab it out of the trash and clean off the gunk. Holding it up into the moonlight, it still has its shine and sparkle. A sigh of relief escapes my lips.
I turn to the lamp and rehang the ornament on it. Apparently the Grinch has arrived. Smiling at my persistence, I return to throwing out his food, then I wipe down his dressers and tables and clean the bathroom.
Washing up the sink, I realize that this is his last night in the hospital. In just a few weeks, he overcame the odds and is now ready to go home. Right now, I wish he was awake, so I could say…gosh, what would I say?
I rush out to the nurses station and jot down a little scribble on a slip of paper. I head back into his room and place the sheet right next to his cellphone on the dresser.
A smile spreads across my face as I take one last look at him before I walk out the door.
See you soon.
Roman
THE COMMOTION FROM the hallway right outside my door wakes me from my sleep. Opening my eyes, the blinding sun causes me to squint as I adjust to its brightness. Twisting my neck and stretching my arms to life, a loud yawn escapes me. I lift my hand to examine it: the skin has completely healed. It’s a little sore to the touch, but overall, I can’t really tell I got burned there.
Feeling down the side of my waist, I brush the area that was burned there as well. I don’t flinch and nothing triggers any pain. Wow, it’s like new skin. The last place to touch is my face and in a way, I don’t want to. It’s the one place that is scarred and I haven’t even seen what they look like; I can’t exactly just get up and walk into the bathroom to see my reflection. Aunt Maggie refuses to lend me her mirror, so I’ve had to deal with the torture of not knowing how I look.
Brushing my fingers across my right cheek, the skin is soft but not smooth. It’s not bumpy either. It sort of feels almost like the feel of stretch marks, skin that’s been pulled and clumps back together in a sort of wave. The skin is tight and not very cheeky; that’ll take some getting used to.
Reaching over to grab my cellphone to call Aunt Maggie, I see a folded piece of paper. I take it and read its message. Believe in yourself. –Melanie.
Her words of wisdom immediately warm my heart, but the despair surrounding it causes the warmth to flee away again. I’m no longer the same man I was two weeks ago. Everything’s changed; I’ve changed. Shit, I can’t even walk right now. The one thing I’ve always wanted, I can no longer have.
Being a firefighter was my dream. It was my purpose. It was my one and only plan. Even wanting Melanie was a surprise in the mix, but deep down, being a part of the New York City Fire Department was all I ever really wanted.
When Dr. Ferguson told me that I had a slim to no chance of ever getting back in, I broke down in tears. What do you do when your whole life is turned upside down? How do you pick yourself up and move on from that? How do you live on? Can you?
He had said that depending on my physical therapy, they’d be better able to understand my healing and better determine if I can be reinstated, but until then, my status as a New York Firefighter is listed as “inactive”.
I hate that fucking word: inactive.
It’s worse than the injured list. I sound pitiful, so inadequate. Aunt Maggie told me to stop being a baby and deal with it, but it’s not that easy.
Everything I’ve ever wanted in life has been taken away: my dad, my mom, my career, and now Melanie. What do I have to offer her besides a shit ton of medical bills and a cripple? I wouldn’t be able to care for her right away and even if I could, why would she want to be with me? I probably don’t even look the same. I can only imagine how hideous I must look now. God, I don’t even want to know.
I crumble up her note and toss it in the trash. Returning to my cellphone, I call Aunt Maggie and she tells me she and Uncle Vinny will be here within the hour to take me home. Finally, I’ll get to go home. Well, to their place. Remembering that all my clothes are at my place, I tell her to stop by my apartment to grab a few of my belongings first. I’d hate to end up empty handed and have to wear Uncle Vinny’s clothing.
As we talk, I see a shining light reflect out of the corner of my eye. My eyes land on the Christmas tree ornament hanging off my lamp. Didn’t I toss that yesterday?
Realizing who replaced the ornament, I shake my head and sigh with frustration. That girl doesn’t know when to quit.
I stretch my arm and grab the ornament, pulling if off the lamp. Then I twist my body and toss it back in the trash where it belongs. I’m not in the holiday spirit and don’t plan on spreading any Christmas cheer right now.
Once I end the call with Aunt Maggie, I buzz for the nurse so she can help me sit up and eat my oh-so-delicious breakfast. An hour and a half later, Aunt Maggie and Uncle Vinny show up with a clean set of clothes. Thank god. I couldn’t stand another day in this hospital gown.
Dr. Ferguson arrives to give me one last check before he d