She leaned over and put her arms around the girl, holding her as she sobbed, her body jerking with the effort. Finally her breathing evened out and she lay back.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said finally.
The doctor had warned Amy that she should avoid stirring up any painful memories or emotions in the first few days: ‘Just let her work it through in her own time.’
‘Forget it,’ she said quietly.
‘No, I mean it. I’m sorry. Sorry for telling him.’
Amy felt her stomach drop. ‘What do you mean, Josie?’
‘Douglas Proctor wanted to know about your personal life. So I told him. I really wanted the job full time and I thought it might get me some brownie points.’
‘What did you tell him?’
She didn’t speak for several seconds.
‘Douglas told me that there were rumours about you taking drugs. That you had a serious addiction. He wanted to know if I had ever seen any evidence of it. Whether I had seen you high, or with any drugs paraphernalia.’
‘So what did you tell him?’ Amy knew that she should just tell her to forget it, but she was desperate to know.
‘I said that you were acting strangely in Provence. I told them that I had seen syringes.’
‘I don’t take drugs, Josie. I never have.’
‘Then what were the syringes for?’
‘They’re for vitamin shots.’
Josie looked away from her.
‘Why did you take the overdose, Josie? You could have talked to me, to David.’
‘No, I couldn’t.’ Josie’s gaze was trailing out of the window. The rims of her eyes were pink, her eyeballs glistening. ‘I know about David,’ she whispered.
‘What about him?’ asked Amy, feeling her heart speed up again at the whiff of treachery.
‘He’s my dad, isn’t he?’ A tear leaked down her cheek.
Amy closed her eyes. It was all making sense. That was why she’d taken the Valium. Guilt, shame, disgust. The bra in her bed was Josie’s. She had slept with David in Provence, and when she’d found out that he was her father, she couldn’t stand what she had done.
‘No. No, he’s not. Your mum came to Oxford when I was in my final term. Something happened between her and David, but they didn’t have sex. Karen did fall pregnant that month, but David couldn’t have been the father. It was Lee. I went to Bristol yesterday. She told me so herself.’
‘You’re not lying?’
‘No.’
‘Not even to protect me?’
‘Amy, I think it’s about time we started telling each other the truth.’
Tears were spilling down the girl’s cheeks. ‘I’ve always wished I had a different dad, but now . . . now I’m glad,’ she whispered.
‘Josie, who told you?’ said Amy, trying to collect her thoughts. ‘Who told you David was your dad?’
Josie looked away again. ‘It doesn’t matter.’
It had to be Max. It was the only explanation Amy could think of. She reached forward and took the younger woman’s hand. Josie rewarded her with a weak smile.