The Proposal

‘Then make it go somewhere.’

‘It’s easy for you to say.’

‘Because I have money?’

Amy nodded.

‘I never used to.’

‘I’m sure you had a classical education; that can take you places.’

/> Georgia looked thoughtful.

‘Indeed, education can be the key that opens many doors. But in my day, university wasn’t considered a serious option for well-brought-up young ladies.’

‘So did you go?’

‘I went to Cambridge.’

‘There you are.’

Georgia laughed softly.

‘I worked very hard to get there, with very little encouragement. Well, with the exception of someone . . . someone I met at the Season. Someone I cared for very deeply. He encouraged me to value education, curiosity, wherever it could be found. So when it came to it, I thought I should try and get into the best place I could, seeing as everyone was rooting for me to fail.’

‘Why the hell didn’t people want you to succeed?’

‘Certain people.’ The old woman’s face was inscrutable. ‘So I worked very hard to show them what I was made of,’ she continued as if she did not want to dwell too much on the details. ‘I graduated, joined a publishing house. I always had rather lofty ideas about being a writer, but as it turned out, I was better at shaping other people’s words and ideas. I got married to someone I met in the industry, got divorced, had a little money and decided to start my own company.’

‘Make money for yourself rather than for other people,’ smiled Amy.

‘I was certainly focused. But it was more about the love of books and being able to publish those books my way that drove me.’

‘You make it sound so easy,’ said Amy, putting her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her palms.

‘It was easier building up a company without a family and children to distract me.’

‘Exactly. Who needs men?’ said Amy defiantly as Georgia asked for the bill. She had felt wretched at Annie’s, when all her dreams of a future with Daniel had seemed to be in tatters. But talking to Georgia made her realise that there were new dreams out there to chase and catch hold of, like running after dandelion clocks in a summer field.

‘Will you help me?’ she said softly.

‘Help you with what, dear?’ asked Georgia, tapping her pin number into the credit card machine the cheerful waitress had brought over.

‘Help me make a fresh start, change my life, improve it . . .’

‘I’m not sure how I can help . . . I could certainly point you in the direction of some interesting authors, give you some books . . .’

‘Teach me to stop being such a klutz. Teach me to be elegant. Teach me to be a lady.’

Georgia was chuckling softly. Not unkindly.

‘I thought we were talking about being a modern woman, not some old-school deb whose life revolves around a man.’

‘Please,’ said Amy, remembering how stupid and uneducated she had felt at Daniel’s dinner parties. ‘Please teach me stuff.’

‘Amy darling, much of what I learnt at finishing school is outdated now. I’m sure your ballet training means you can do a better curtsey than I can. Things change, move on. Besides, you shouldn’t be motivated by the way Daniel and his family treated you. They don’t matter.’

‘You said yourself that all that stuff you do without thinking was part of your arsenal. Learning all those things you know wouldn’t be about pleasing Daniel or his parents; it’s about never again feeling like I did at the Tower of London. It’s about never feeling so freaking awkward because I don’t know how to behave, about never feeling stupid even though people probably haven’t noticed I’ve got nothing to offer to their intelligent conversations. It’s about never wanting to feel not good enough again.’