Private Lives

Season Three’s finale, where Billy and Sally were trapped in an avalanche and finally consummated their love in a log cabin, had pulled in the highest ratings of any sitcom that season. But Season Four, following Billy’s bumbling attempts to propose, just hadn’t had the same tension. Hence the love rival angle. But Jessica didn’t like the word ‘rival’, not at all. Sally was the undisputed star of All Woman, and Jessica didn’t want her to have a rival anything.

‘What are you thinking? A one-night stand? Or how about a dream sequence starring the twin sister Sally doesn’t even have? I’m thinking good twin, bad twin.’

John shook his head.

‘I’m talking a proper knockout love interest, Jess. A real adversary for Sally – and I’ve found an actress who I think would be perfect.’

He picked up a remote control and zapped on the seventy-inch television at the far end of his office. The screen popped on to a beautiful brunette smouldering through some dialogue.

‘Brooke Geller. She’s great, isn’t she?’ gushed John. ‘Twenty-four, only done a couple of duds in pilot season before now, so she’s fresh.’

Jessica’s stomach turned over as she watched the audition tape. Brooke Geller was stunning, a smouldering raven-haired yin to Sally’s all-American yang. John was right, she would be perfect. This girl was gorgeous, had a Victoria’s Secret body – and looked at least a decade younger than Jessica. Brooke Geller was a star, plain and simple, and there was no way Jessica wanted her on her show.

‘What do you think?’ said John, pressing the pause button.

‘Billy wouldn’t go for someone like that,’ she said tartly.

‘Didn’t you see that rack? Billy is a man.’ John smiled, taking off his glasses to clean them. ‘Besides, we need to make Billy more fallible, more rounded. He was too much of a goody-two-shoes before.’

‘I didn’t notice his two million fans on Twitter complaining.’

‘Well they’re going to Tweet even more when Billy and Brooke start an affair.’

Jessica’s mouth dropped open

‘Tell me you’re kidding,’ she said, her voice quivering with anger. ‘Billy cheating on Sally with some tramp? It’s a bit insensitive, isn’t it, in view of everything that has happened to me this summer?’

‘Jess, it’s not meant to be about that.’

But the way John’s face coloured, she knew that was exactly what it was meant to be about. They were cynically chasing the ratings, pulling back the audience with the promise of art imitating life. No wonder Hartnett and his new writer had kept the script such a secret until now.

‘What a low shot,’ she hissed. She was so livid she was struggling to breathe. ‘And how long do you see this storyline continuing? One episode?’

‘Six episodes initially; we’ll see how the

fans react.’

‘You mean the whole season, don’t you?’ Jessica’s heart was thudding. ‘Is this about these “Desperate Jess” headlines? Because if it is, don’t worry, I’m taking those bastards to court.’

‘It’s not about that, I promise you.’

She jumped to her feet, grabbing her cell phone.

‘I’m getting Len on the phone right now,’ she snapped. ‘We’ll see what he has to say about this.’

Len Morgan was the head of the studio. He was a disgusting lech who had spent years trying to touch her up, and Jessica felt confident she could wrap him around her little finger.

‘Stop a minute, Jess,’ said John, putting his hand over her phone. ‘This was Len’s idea. He’s a businessman. He’s only interested in the bottom line.’

‘No,’ she whispered, trying to hold it together.

‘Jess, look. You are a wonderful, wonderful actress. You are the undisputed star of this show. But you know how important the eighteen to twenty-five demographic is for advertisers. Unless we can convince the studio we can bring that revenue in, there might not even be a Season Six.’

She steeled herself. ‘And you think Brooke Geller is the answer to your problems? She might have sucked your cock to get this gig, but it will take more than that to convince the American public. They love me.’

‘They did, Jess,’ said John. ‘But things change.’

‘Screw you, John,’ she growled. ‘Expect a call from my lawyer.’ She grabbed her bag and wrenched the office door open.