Summer noticed that the laptop Molly had open on the desk beside her was blinking on the eBay home page. It was her mother’s latest source of income, converting gifts from boyfriends into cash – a Hermès scarf here, a Tiffany cocktail ring there; in the last twelve months she had made at least £50,000, tax free.
‘What are you selling this time?’ asked Summer, trying to deflect her mother’s annoyance.
‘Suleiman gave me a Kelly bag,’ sighed Molly.
‘And you’re getting rid of it?’ asked Summer, surprised. She herself had always coveted the legendary Hermès bag, but had never been in the position to part with £3000.
‘You have a Kelly when you’re over fifty, a Birkin when you’re under fifty,’ said Molly patiently, looking at Summer as if she had suggested that the sky was green. ‘So, what kept you? I thought the shoot finished at six.’
Summer slipped off her coat and flopped onto the plump cream sofa. ‘It ran on a bit. The crew wanted to go for a drink. I got away as early as I could.’
‘You went for a drink when you could have been home getting ready to go out with me?’ snapped Molly. ‘I hope you weren’t wasting your time with any bloody photographers. Did he tell you he can get you in Vogue? Believe me, the only thing you get from a fashion photographer is an STD.’
‘I didn’t even go for the drink,’ said Summer tetchily. ‘Anyway, it’s only eight o’clock and we don’t have to be at the party till ten.’
‘Which would be fine if it wasn’t in Surrey. Honestly Summer, you drift back from Japan, I let you live downstairs paying half the rent I could be charging somebody else, and this is what I get: selfishness and inconsideration. Oh well,’ she huffed, ‘you might as well be useful and tell me which dress you prefer.’
Summer followed her mother upstairs into the bedroom feeling wretched. Molly knew exactly the right buttons to press to make her feel guilty and ungrateful. Not for the first time since she got back from Japan, Summer wondered why her mother actually wanted her in such close proximity, considering she spent so much time making her feel like an inconvenience. But then it was a familiar feeling; Summer had always felt as if she had personally held Molly back, both in her modelling career and her love life. Even though a string of cheap Swedish au pairs had been a fixture in the Sinclair household, it couldn’t have been easy for Molly to jet off on a modelling job to Manhattan or Marrakech with Summer weighing her down like a ball and chain. Worse than that, Summer felt she had scuppered Molly’s chances of finding love. Despite being one of the most fabulous women in the world, Molly had never married and it was obvious why – what man wanted a screaming brat in tow? So Summer had learnt not to complain when she constantly changed schools as Molly drifted from lover to lover, had never complained when Molly left her alone all night to romance the latest rich target, hoping that one of these ‘uncles’ would become a permanent fixture and rescue them from the nomadic lifestyle. If she was lonely and frightened, Summer would never show it, because she knew that her mother was trying to find a man to marry, to provide a better, safer, more stable existence for them both and she didn’t want to blow it.
‘Now, I do hope you’re going to be more sociable tonight,’ said Molly as they walked into Molly’s bedroom, which had dresses of every colour and size strewn over the floor, bed and chairs. ‘You can be so sullen when you want to be, and there’re going to be some very promising men at this benefit.’
‘Well, as long as you don’t abandon me with some fat seventy-year-old with wandering hands like you usually do,’ said Summer, moving a £2000 Dior gown from the corner of the bed so she could sit down.
‘Oh, don’t bring that up again,’ said Molly. ‘Sir Lawrence just happens to be a very tactile man. Anyway, you can hardly blame him, when you’re always playing this moody “hard to get” game with everyone I introduce you to. It’s almost as if you’ve got something against rich men.’
Well, maybe I have, thought Summer.
Two months after Summer’s fifteenth birthday, Molly came home terribly excited. She announced that she had met a man called Graham Daniels, an electronics tycoon who apparently ‘ticked all the right boxes’. Within a week, Molly and Summer had moved into ‘Tyndale’, Graham’s huge house in Ascot. Summer liked Graham. Unlike many of Molly’s other boyfriends, he didn’t treat her like an irritation. In fact he treated her as an adult, even letting her sit behind the wheel of his red Ferrari Testarossa and kangaroo-hop up and down the gravel drive in front of the house. Summer enrolled in the local private girls school, where she made lots of new friends, and was given her own pink bedroom with an en-suite bathroom and a balcony that overlooked acres of wooded grounds. Summer loved her pink bedroom until one night when Graham came to say goodnight. Summer could still hear the click of the door opening and see the white of Graham’s teeth smiling in the shadows. On that first night, Summer had felt fear as his hands moved under her nightgown. On the second night she had felt a terrible sense of shame for the unfamiliar but pleasurable feelings her young body had experienced. On the third night, Graham Daniels forgot to lock the door. He froze like a rabbit when the door creaked open and Molly’s silhouette loomed in the doorway. Summer had pulled her candy-striped duvet tightly around her body, waiting for the screams and anger to erupt. But none had come.
‘Get out,’ Molly had said quietly, as Graham scampered across the floor on all fours, then fixed her daughter with an icy stare. ‘Get dressed,’ she said, bundling Summer’s belongings into a rucksack. Molly did not stop to collect her own things or even to change out of the floor-length silk negligee before she grabbed her car keys and dragged Summer from the house, bare feet crunching across the gravel.
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The next day, Summer enrolled back into her old comprehensive school in Ladbroke Grove. They never saw Graham Daniels or his magnificent Ascot mansion again.
‘So, which do you think?’ asked Molly, jolting Summer out of her thoughts by waving two silk Cavalli dresses in front of her face. Summer pointed to the scarlet red halter-neck with the dangerously low back.
‘It matches your toes.’
‘Good. That’s what I thought. I want everybody to see me coming tonight,’ she winked. ‘Did you want to borrow the other one?’ she continued, holding out the older, plainer black gown.
‘No. It’s okay. I’m just going to pop downstairs and have a quick shower.’
Molly nodded towards Summer’s hand. ‘What’s that?’ she asked.
Summer was holding a CD box she had just pulled out of her bag.
‘This? Oh, one of the guys on the shoot gave it to me. It’s his band.’
‘Pass it here. I might as well entertain myself while you’re getting ready.’
‘Great,’ smiled Summer, pleased at Molly’s interest. ‘Charlie wants to know what I think of it.’
‘What? Charlie?’ said Molly distractedly as she fished around in her handbag and producing a wrap of cocaine. She put the CD case on the bed and tipped the cocaine onto it. ‘Did you want some?’
Summer felt a plunging sense of disappointment. She didn’t approve of her mother’s lifestyle, but Molly was her mother. Molly had made sacrifices and it was Summer’s duty to accept the choices she made. She’d never had the power to do anything else.
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