I don’t believe this. I throw another couple of scoops in.
‘Thank you, Uncle Dom,’ she says solemnly, and drops her spoon into the ice cream. While they’re eating, I pick up the broken pieces from the floor. The ice cream is melting fast, but I manage to mop up the largest blobs with paper towels. However, I can see that I’m going to have to settle them in the other room and come back to clean this mess.
SEVENTEEN
After they’ve eaten, I clean Tommy’s face and hands, pick him up, and, with Liliana following behind, carry him to the spare room. It’s a surprise to see it done up colorfully with two cots in it. They must stay with Shane often.
I put Tommy on his back on the table with the plastic mat spread on its surface.
Liliana wrinkles her nose. ‘Tommy stinks.’
‘You bet he does.’
There’s a pile of nappies, and I take one and unfold it, and place it on the table. I undo the straps on the sides of Tommy’s diaper and lift the front flap away from his tummy. The sight and stench of the kid’s shit just makes me want to gag. I mean, seriously gag. I actually start to retch. And I would have been sick too if I’d not very quickly re-closed the diaper and taped it back on.
‘That’s not how you change it,’ Liliana says.
‘I know that,’ I say, turning my head to the side and taking deep breaths of clean air. I pick up my phone and dial Ella’s number.
She answers on the third ring. ‘Hey, sexy,’ she breathes into the phone.
Not feeling sexy right now. ‘How do you feel about changing a very smelly diaper?’
‘Um … Is this a trick question?’
‘No.’
‘It sounds like one.’
‘Look, I need to change a diaper, and I can’t get past the gag reflex.’
She begins to chuckle. ‘I’ll be right over. Where are you?’
‘I’m at Shane’s apartment. I’ll text you the address.’
My phone rings again. It’s Lily. Oh fuck! ‘Hey, Lily,’ I say too brightly.
‘Hey, Dom. Shane called to tell us you’ve taken over. How’s it going?’ she asks casually, but I can hear the thread of panic in her voice.
‘Great.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah,’ I insist confidently.
‘Er … Can I speak to my daughter, please?’
‘Sure,’ I say, and, looking at Liliana, put my finger on my lips to warn her not to say anything about the ice cream.
She nods conspiratorially. I smile at her approvingly and show her the thumbs-up signal.
She takes the phone, listens for a moment, then says, ‘Yeah, but Uncle Dom gave us ice cream. Tommy had some, but I didn’t have any.’
I stare at the little lying rat in shock. What a bare-faced liar! She drops me in the shit and saves her own skin. Even I wouldn’t have lied like that at her age. Hell, her belly is still stuffed full of undigested ice cream.
‘And, Mummy’—she looks up at me before continuing sanctimoniously—‘Tommy’s diaper is full of poop, but Uncle Dom doesn’t know how to change nappies. He called someone to come and help him.’ She listens for a bit more then she says, ‘Nope. Nope. OK, Mummy. I love you too, too much too.’ The little minx then hands the phone back to me. ‘Mummy wants to speak to you.’
I bet she fucking does. You little rat, you. I glare at her as I snatch the phone from her.