‘He’ll come.’
‘What if he doesn’t make it in time?’
‘He’ll make it in time,’ I said, a wave slapping salt water into my mouth.
‘I’m sorry, baby.’
I could feel the rage in my guts. ‘Stop apologizing. I’d do the same again given half the chance.’
‘If I die, will you marry someone else?’
‘I’ll never marry anyone else, Vivien.’
‘I couldn’t bear it if you do.’
‘Look, I fucking won’t, OK?’
‘You promise?’
‘I promise.’
‘I’ll come back and haunt you if you do.’
‘You’re not going to fucking die, so this is a stupid discussion.’
‘But if I do. Don’t fall in love with anyone else.’
‘You won’t,’ I said through clenched teeth.
She didn’t speak anymore, and for more than an hour both of us were mostly silent. We spoke only to check that we were both still alive. I kept glancing at my watch every few minutes. Time had never moved so slowly. After what seemed like interminable hours my legs felt like dead weights and I was struggling to move them.
By then, Vivien was also no longer shivering. There was a strange lethargy about her. I knew that at that rate she was not going to last. I turned her over so her chest was pressed to mine. It was harder work for me, but I didn’t know what else to do to warm her up.
‘Don’t move unless you have to. Don’t even kick your legs. Stay still and conserve your energy,’ I told her.
‘I’m afraid, Dom. I’m afraid I’ll die.’ Her voice was quivering with emotion.
‘No, you fucking won’t. I won’t allow it.’
‘My wedding dress. You’ll never see me in my wedding dress,’ she moaned into my neck.
The dank taste of the ocean was in my mouth. ‘I’ll fucking see you in your wedding dress if I have to bury you in it,’ I growled.
She giggled. It was a weak, lazy sound. She was slipping away. I could feel it as strongly as I knew my hands had become so numb I could no longer feel them.
‘It doesn’t hurt like I thought it would. I’m not scared anymore. It’s almost peaceful, actually. Just like falling into something soft and dark.’
I held her tighter still. ‘Vivien, you have to fight it. Stay with me.’
‘Hey, baby! Look at those lights. They’re beauuuuuutiful.’
‘What lights?’
‘Can you not see them?’
‘No.’
‘Oh, I pity you. They are sooooo beautiful.’