Myah looks sad, and I turn to look at Sloane. She longingly watches Myah’s retreating figure. My former pet seems so defeated now, not like the fierce girl I saw in the office or the seductress in the bedroom. Her face is so downcast that I feel like enclosing her in a hug. But I shake my head to clear the thoughts. I can’t think about her that way ever again. We will never have another chance because she wasted what we had with all her lies. And it seems like another lie is coming along. I hope there isn’t, but I really can’t trust her right now.
Calvin and I join her at their table. She stares at me defiantly, reminding me of my stubborn daughter. I force my lips to form a straight line and stop myself from smiling. I can’t let her get into my defenses.
“How did you find her, Sloane?” I start.
Sloane looks out the window, and I imagine her searching for Myah again. But we are parked on the other side of the cafe, and I doubt that she can see my daughter.
“I didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“Myah found me.”
Of course, Myah runs away to find her. If I had only paid attention to my daughter these past few days, I would have noticed that she had been asking for Sloane nonstop. They have formed this bond that I can’t seem to breach or cut. And I slowly realize that I may never be able to stop it.
“It’s in this part of the park with the waterfalls. I told her about it several times because it was my favorite place in the park. It’s not crowded, and it’s quite a walk. My guts told me that she might have stopped there if she wasn’t there. So, I followed my instincts and went.”
“Thank you,” I find myself saying, “for leading her to me again. I can’t imagine ever losing Myah again.”
Sloane only nods at me.
“But it may be inevitable. I feel like she’s bound to run away again, and I fear that I will not find her again if she does.”
Why am I being vulnerable to the woman that I hate so much? I feel a tug in my heart, but I ignore it. I do hate her. That is not a lie.
“I think she will do that again if she starts to feel unsafe with you, Owen. So really, all you can do is to make sure that she is moving to a home that will keep her safe and make her want to stay. She doesn’t say it aloud, but your daughter loves you. She only wants you to be a father to her, not a boss.”
I cringe, but I know that Sloane’s only saying truths now. I meet her gaze again, and I feel the anger inside me slowly thawing. So, I know that I need to go before I start begging for her to come with us.
“Goodbye, Sloane,” I mutter.
Calvin stands up and leaves us alone. I linger for a second longer, waiting for something. But nothing comes, so I throw her a final look and then stand up. This may as well be the last time that I will be seeing Sloane. And maybe, that’s for the best.
But before I can move away, Sloane says my name. And I stop.
“I never meant to hurt you, Owen. But, things just,” she pauses and looks up at me, “got to me. And I ended up making some bad choices.”
Bad choices like lying to me, keeping my daughter from me, and pretending to be someone who cares about me. But I don’t voice those thoughts. I keep them to myself because what’s the point of adding more fuel to the fire? I’m leaving soon.
“I’m not a bad person,” she continues. “At least, I’m trying not to be.”
I struggle to find the right words to say. And end up saying, “I hope that you can become who you want to be.”
I watch her drop her eyes to the ground. Then I turn to leave with the heaviness still pressing down on my heart.
I didn’t realize until now how sad a person could be when someone leaves them. Laura doesn’t have the same effect on me, and she used to be my wife. I don’t remember ever feeling any remorse when we got divorced. There was only that longing feeling that I now understand is connected with Myah and not her. Yet, with leaving Sloane, I feel like I’m doing something wrong. So why am I feeling this way now?
Calvin opens the door, and I sit next to Myah inside the car. She looks so downcast, too, like she has just lost a significant person in her life. Is that what Sloane is for her?
“I didn’t mean to make you worry, Dad,” Myah says, breaking the silence.