The ceremony passed in a blur. Vows were spoken, words read, then Khalil drew her to him and pressed his mouth against hers in a cool kiss.
She still had no idea what was going on behind those veiled eyes.
Elena circulated through the guests at a small reception after the ceremony, her gaze tracking Khalil’s movements around the room, even as she chatted with councillors who oozed satisfaction now that she was wed and taken care of.
She felt as if everything had changed for her—but had it for him? Should she even hope it had? It might be better—wiser, safer—not to let things change for herself. Not to open herself up to all of the pain and possibility that loving someone meant.
It was too late for that, she knew. She couldn’t stop what she felt for Khalil, just as she couldn’t keep the waves from crashing into the sea or the moon from rising that night. Her love for him simply was.
After the reception they retired to a suite of rooms in its own private wing, as much of a bridal chamber as the palace had.
Elena took in the champagne chilling by the canopied bed, the fire crackling in the fireplace, the frothy nightgown some accommodating member of staff had laid out for her.
‘It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?’ she said with an attempt at wryness. She felt, bizarrely, as if they were pretending, as if they were going through the motions of marriage and love when last night she’d felt they’d known the real thing.
‘It’s thoughtful,’ Khalil answered with a shrug. He hesitated, his gaze pinned to hers even though Elena had no idea what he felt or what he intended to say. ‘You looked beautiful today. You still do.’
A thrill of surprised pleasure rippled through her. ‘Thank you.’
‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you.’
‘I couldn’t take my eyes off you, either,’ she admitted with a shy smile.
His answering smile was assured. ‘I know.’
‘Oh—you!’ Elena gasped with a shocked laugh. ‘You sound unbearably arrogant, you know.’
‘But it’s true.’
‘It would be more gentlemanly for you not to remark on it.’
‘Why?’ he asked as he reached for her. ‘When the feeling is mutual?’
She stared up at him, suddenly breathless. Just how much was mutual?
He feathered a few kisses along her jaw. ‘And this is what I’ve been wanting to do all day long.’
‘Why didn’t you, then?’ Elena managed as she tilted her head back to give him greater access.
Khalil pressed a kiss to the tender hollow of her throat. ‘What do you think your stuffy councillors would have thought if I’d dragged you out of that ballroom and returned you with messed hair, swollen lips and a very big smile on your face?’
Elena let out a choked laugh, her mind blurring as Khalil’s mouth moved lower. ‘I think they would have been pleased. I’d have been put in my place as a dutiful wife.’
‘I like the sound of those duties,’ Khalil answered as he tugged at the zip of her dress. ‘I think you need more instruction on just how to carry them out.’
Her dress slithered down her body, leaving her in nothing but her bra and pants, her whole body on fire from the heat of Khalil’s gaze. ‘I think I do,’ she agreed...then they didn’t speak for quite a while after that.
Later they lay in bed just as they had last night, hands linked and limbs entwined. Sleepily, utterly sated, Elena thought how this did feel like for ever. Maybe they could be this happy...for ever.
‘I need to go to Paris,’ Khalil said. His fingers tightened briefly on hers as he stared up at the bed’s canopy. ‘To see my Aunt Dimah. She moved there a few years ago. She should hear of our marriage from me. And I’d like you to meet her.’
‘Of course,’ Elena said simply. She was glad to share in any part of Khalil’s life that he wanted her to.
‘And after that,’ he continued, ‘we will return to Kadar. I received a message from Aziz today, just before the wedding. He has agreed to meet with me.’
‘That’s good news, isn’t it?’
‘I hope it is. I hope I will be able to convince him to call the referendum.’
‘And if he refuses?’
Khalil stared up at the ceiling. ‘I don’t know,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t—I don’t want war. But I can’t imagine giving up my claim to the throne, either. It’s everything to me.’ He turned to her then, a new, raw vulnerability shadowing his eyes. ‘Not everything,’ he amended. ‘Not any more. But it’s important, Elena.’
‘I know it is.’
‘Everything I’ve been, everything I’ve done, has been for Kadar. For my title.’
‘I know,’ she said softly. She leaned over and kissed him. ‘I know how important this is, Khalil, and I believe in you just as you’ve believed in me. You’ll succeed. You’ll convince Aziz and win the vote.’
He smiled and squeezed her fingers. ‘I pray so.’
‘I know it.’
‘I’d like you to be with me when the referendum is called,’ Khalil said after a moment. ‘It’s important for the people to see you support me. But it shouldn’t take long, and afterwards you can return to Thallia. Those were the terms of our agreement.’
Elena thought of the soulless piece of paper they’d both signed just yesterday, outlining the nature of their marriage: so cold, so clinical. She felt his fingers threaded through hers, his legs tangled with hers, and she mentally consigned that piece of paper and all of its legalese to the rubbish heap. ‘I’ll need to return to Thallia, of course,’ she said. ‘But do you want me to stay longer?’ She twisted to face him, and was gratified to see a light blaze in Khalil’s eyes.
‘Yes,’ he said simply, and she squeezed his hand, never feeling more certain of anything in her life. She loved this man and she would go anywhere with him.
‘Then I’ll stay,’ she said simply, and Khalil closed the space between them and kissed her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
THE NEXT MORNING they boarded the royal jet to Paris. Since last night Elena had felt closer to Khalil than ever before, even though neither of them had put a name to what they felt. Perhaps it was too early to put such fragile feelings into words; in any case, Elena was simply glad to be sharing Khalil’s life, and that he wanted her to.
‘You must be very close to your aunt,’ she said as the plane took off and they settled into their seats. A royal steward brought a tray of coffee and pastries into the main cabin.
Khalil poured milk into both of their coffees, his mouth twisting in something like a grimace. ‘I am, but it is a complicated relationship.’
‘How so?’
‘When Dimah found me, I’d been in the desert for three years. I was...’ He paused, his gaze on the bright blue sky visible from the plane’s windows. ‘Difficult. No, that is putting a polite spin on it—feral is a better description.’
Feral. Elena swallowed and blinked back sudden tears. Emotions, ones she’d suppressed and denied for so long, were always so close to the surface now; Khalil had made her feel, want and love again. ‘I hate to think of what you endured, Khalil.’
‘It was a long time ago,’ he answered. ‘But I admit, it affected me badly. I’d been treated like an animal for three years, so even after Dimah found me I acted like one. I didn’t trust anyone. I barely spoke.’ He shook his head, his features tightening. ‘She was very patient. She took me to New York to live with her and her husband. She brought me to learning specialists and therapists, people who helped me adjust to this strange new life.’
‘And you did adjust?’
Khalil grimaced. ‘Some. But I haven’t ever felt truly at home in America. No one understood me, or knew what I experienced. Not even really Dimah.’
‘Did you tell her?’
‘A little. I don’t think she really wanted to know. She wanted me to forget Kadar completely, but returning to claim my birthright has always been what has motivated me. Dimah has never understood that.’
Surprise flashed through her. ‘Why not?’
‘The memories are too painful for her, I suppose. She grew up in Siyad, but she always longed to leave. When my mother died, she was heartbroken. She left to marry an American businessman and never wanted to return.’
‘But she knows it is your right.’
‘What she knows is that she provided a good life for me in America. She sent me to boarding school and university, helped me start my own consulting business before I joined the French Foreign Legion. She thought all those things would help me to forget Kadar, but I always saw them as stepping stones to returning. I don’t think she has ever understood how much it has meant to me.’
‘And yet the two of you are close,’ Elena said quietly. ‘Aren’t you?’
‘Yes, we are close. She saved me, quite literally.’ The smile he gave her was bleak. ‘I owe her a debt I can never repay, and I hope that one day she understands that I am attempting to redress it by claiming my birthright and becoming Sheikh.’
‘Even though she doesn’t want you to.’
‘Yes.’ He paused, his gaze moving once more to the sky. ‘Claiming my rightful inheritance will expunge any stain from my mother’s memory. It’s not just for my sake that I am pursuing this path. It’s to right old wrongs, to repair the very fabric of my country that was torn when my father decided to pursue his own selfish whims instead of justice. Putting aside my mother with no real reason rent the country in two. I want to repair it.’