My Heart

I lean back in my office chair, squeezing my hands into fists, letting out a groan.

What the hell am I going to do?

I wait outside the restaurant, leaning against my car, my arms folded. Alexis told me Tamia’s shift ends at seven-thirty, which leaves me with ten minutes of waiting.

I felt like dirt for asking Alexis, but Tamia hasn’t responded to my text all day.

“I think her phone is busted,” Alexis told me after I’d – hopefully – casually slipped the question into the conversation. “I’m sure she’d love a ride though.”

Staring at the restaurant across the street, I warn myself to remain calm. I can’t duck my head and charge at her like a bull, drag her over to the car, and shove her up against it. I can’t press my lips and throbbing erection against her, grinding my cock through the fabric of her pants, letting her feel just how badly I need her.

I can’t tell her I see her standing beneath an altar one day, radiant and vivacious, as I slip my ring onto her finger. Tying her to me.

“All my life…”

Those are words I can’t say.

“All my life, I thought I was just a grim bastard. I thought I wasn’t capable of feeling this deeply, having this certainly, but then I met you…”

Finally, Tamia emerges, her shirt unbuttoned at the top, crinkled from a hard day’s work. Her hair is a little messier too, making her look as though she’s ready for me to take her to bed, to tear her shirt so the buttons pop and—

I forcibly stop the flow of my fantasies, walking across the street.

Tamia doesn’t see me until the last moment. She looks up and freezes. “Uh, hey.”

“Want a ride?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “I’m fine.”

I smirk. “You’re going to walk, are you?”

“No, I mean… only if you’re okay with it.”

“Of course, I am,” I growl. “Come on.”

Without waiting for a response, I gesture toward the car. She walks toward the car and I step closer, inhaling her unique scent, youthful and tempting and mine most of all. My balls feel so full, almost to the point of pain.

Opening the door for her, I nod inside.

She climbs in, brushing against me as she does. I bite down on my cheek as my fingers twitch, urging me to dart my hand forward and wrap my arm around her waist, drawing her to me.

I need to touch her again, but this time keep my eyes on hers, watch as her lips part in pleasure.

Climbing into the driver’s seat, I look across at her and savor every detail. “Alexis wanted me to tell you she’s going to be home late. She’s seeing a friend… I have a feeling he’s a potential boyfriend, but she won’t tell her dad that.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Tamia says, purposefully staring straight ahead, like she’s pissed. “My phone’s busted. This morning it said it was fully charged, but by midday, it was almost dead.”

I start the car, joining the traffic, my body thrumming when I think about the fact Tamia and I are going to be alone, for a few hours at least.

“How was work?”

She laughs bitterly.

“What?” I ask.

“What?” she echoes, shaking her head. “Nothing. Forget about it.”

“It’s clearly not nothing,” I counter.

She looks up at me, eyes wide, then glances down at her hands. Her fingers worry at each other. “Are we really going to pretend this morning didn’t happen? I told you I was… I told you something very personal, and you made me feel like crap. You made me feel pathetic.”

I swallow as emotion hammers into me, my heartbeat picking up speed.

I want to find the bastard who hurt my woman and make him pay.

But I can’t.

It was me.

“Tamia, I’m sorry,” I say, mentally kicking myself for hurting her. “I mean it. I don’t care that you’re a virgin.”

Her gaze snaps to me, causing her wavy hair to flutter around her shoulders. “No? Then why did you act like you didn't want me anymore?”

I sigh, as I try to think of a good reason for my actions, anything but the truth.

I can’t tell her the truth, can I?

“That’s what I thought,” she goes on. “You probably wanted a quickie with your daughter’s friend. Maybe just because I was there. You thought it would be easy. Or maybe you really are attracted to me. Whatever. But then you found out I was a virgin and I spoiled your plans.”

“Is that really what you think?”

She tilts her head. “Well, am I right?”

I focus on the road, feeling a thickness in my throat at her words. “No, it’s not. That’s not even close. I care about you, Tamia.”

Careful, a voice warns.

“You care about me?” she mutters. “We hardly know each other.”

“Then let’s get to know each other,” I say fiercely. “Let me take you on a date. We rushed things last night. But I couldn’t help myself. Knowing you were just down the hall, so curvy, so sexy, so…”