I groaned, and he took his cock in his hand and slid it along my tongue before pushing into my mouth. At first, he gave me shallow strokes I could handle easily. I pressed my fingers hard against the wall to keep from reaching for him and taking control.
He began to fuck my mouth deeper. I swallowed around him, doing everything I could to relax my throat. I was going to take everything he gave this time.
Eric pushed almost all the way in, and I fought my gag reflex. I could do this. I could show him I was able to do anything he could do. When he was in so deep I couldn’t breathe, I started to panic, but he pulled out before I shoved him away.
I sighed when he stroked both of my cheeks. “That was impressive. I’m very proud of you.”
I should be pissed at him for talking to me like that. I didn’t need his approval. At least, I didn’t want to need it, but his words warmed me like he’d wrapped a blanket around me.
After buttoning himself back up, he held out his hands. I took them, and he yanked me to my feet. It was easy to forget how strong he was, and I was definitely not at my best. My head was swimming, and my cock throbbed. I could hardly think. Before I could register what he was doing, he bent and lifted me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. I grabbed the back pockets of his jeans to steady myself. This was insane. He was fucking manhandling me like I was his toy. And it was sexy as hell.
He dropped me onto the bed and grinned evilly at me. “This is good for you. You need to relax and let me tend to you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t… I don’t think I can do that.”
“I don’t think you have any choice.”
“I’d win in a fight,” I said.
“Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to fight me and then leave?”
The thought of walking out on him made me feel sick. “No.”
“Then you don’t have any choice. Why don’t you enjoy that for a while? You’ve been forced to make a lot of choices in your life, many you didn’t want to make. Relax and enjoy what I’m doing to you.”
It was my instinct to fight. I didn’t think I could just lie there and let him work me over. I was going to fight him. I was going to push him off. I was eventually going to break. “Use your cuffs on me.”
Eric stared down at me, shock clear on his face. “I don’t think that’s—”
“I want you to. If you don’t, I’ll fight you. I won’t be able to help myself, but I want this. I want you inside me. I want to give myself to you. I… I love you.”
“I love you too, baby, so damn much. I don’t want to hurt you or scare you.”
“Gerard.”
“What?” He looked around like maybe the gator was there in the room with us.
“That’s what I’ll say if I need you to open the cuffs.”
He frowned. “But what if—”
“Please. I need this.”
Eric held my gaze for a moment, then nodded. He could read me better than anyone besides Dax, and I was thankful for that. I wasn’t good at describing why I felt the way I did. I never had been, even before the horrors I’d experienced in the army.
I want you naked before I restrain you,” Eric said.
I sat up and pulled my shirt over my head before I convinced myself I was insane—or even more insane than I already thought. I was willingly going to be naked and restrained in front of this man, and I wanted that. I wanted to be vulnerable. What was happening to me?
“You’re safe with me, okay?”
“I know.” I unfastened my pants and shoved them down, wanting to get naked as fast as I could. My cock was relieved not to be confined anymore. Eric ran a finger along it, a barely there caress that had me growling. “Don’t tease.”
“I’m in charge. I can do whatever I want.”
“Fuck. That’s… I…”
“Lie down.”
Eric extracted his cuffs from his bag along with a bottle of lube. When he closed the first one around my wrist, I was afraid I’d made a mistake.
You trust him. He’ll take them off if that’s what you want. You’re choosing this.
I was. I needed this. I needed the restraints so I could enjoy Eric being in charge.
I took slow, deep breaths as he threaded the cuffs through one of the slats in the headboard and closed the second cuff around my other wrist.
I pulled on them, testing their strength, feeling the metal press into my skin.
“How does that feel?” Eric asked.
“Fucking good but also horrible. I hate it, but I love it.”