I let a harsh laugh slip free. “You’re the one who walked away and never looked back. You left.”
“You told me to leave, Bree.”
I felt my eyes rapidly blinking in disbelief at the idiot sitting across from me. Or maybe I was the idiot. “I thought…well, I thought you would…fight for us.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me your fears, Bree? Why talk to me in riddles and tell me you wanted me to leave?”
My heart hammered so hard in my chest, I was positive it was going to burst out at any moment. “Talk. In. Riddles?”
“You know what I mean. Wait. Let me take all that back and start over.”
Dropping back in the booth, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him. I wasn’t sure who to be angry with. Luke for listening to me and leaving, or me for being such a…girl. I had really expected him to read between the lines and then got upset when he didn’t.
I stared at him—and it was then I got a really good look at him. He had dark circles under his eyes. When they opened again and he met my gaze, I noticed how bloodshot his eyes were and how tired he looked. His filming schedule must have been crazy up until this point. I was about to ask him if he’d gotten any sleep, but he went on.
“If I could go back in time and do things differently, I would. No, wait. I wouldn’t. I got to be with you—alone with you, fall in love with you—without the outside world sticking their noses into our business and printing lies and negative shit about us. I wouldn’t change any of that. But I wish I’d figured out a better way to do it, so that you never felt like I didn’t cherish you.”
His words repeated in my head. Fall in love with you. He had said he loved me plenty of times, and I had believed his words…until I told myself they couldn’t have been true in a sad attempt to make the hurt go away. Deep down, though, I knew he loved me. Or had loved me.
The thought of him no longer loving me made me feel sick to my stomach.
“I never felt like you didn’t cherish me, Luke.”
“You obviously did at some point, Bree. You doubted us, my faithfulness, and that was my fault.”
I gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I won’t argue with you on that one.”
The corner of his mouth rose into a small smile before he went on. “But you should have told me how you felt. I can’t read your mind any more than you can read mine. You have fears, and so do I, but we can’t expect each other to know what those fears are.”
Nodding, I drew in a slow breath and let it out. “I agree. I should have told you how I was feeling. I’m sorry.”
He reached across the table and took my hand in his. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t completely open either. I never stopped loving you, Bree.”
I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. “It’s been four months, Luke. Four. Did you think I’d wait for you?”
His jaw ticced, and he looked away for a moment before his dark gaze met mine. “Do you not love me anymore, Bree? Is that why you left Boston?”
“I left Boston because the idea of even seeing you hurt too much at the time. Of seeing your father and not asking about you or how you were. Or worse yet, him telling me you’d moved on and found someone new. I also left because someone told a reporter who I was, and they came to my office to ask about you. I lied and said I didn’t know who you were, but if there was one reporter, there would be others. I freaked out and knew I needed to leave.”
His face fell. “You left Boston, your job, because of me?”
I shook my head and looked down at where his hand covered mine. “No. That was only part of the reason.”
“And the other part?” he asked.
“The other part doesn’t matter.”
A deep frown appeared on his handsome face. “If it caused you to leave your job and world behind in Boston, then it matters to you. And that means it matters to me.”
My heart did a little tumble in my chest. Lord, this man knows how to melt my insides.
My cheeks got hot, and I looked down at my drink and started to run my finger along the glass with my free hand. “Over the last year, all the times I’ve returned to Boggy Creek, something inside me has changed.”
“What do you mean?” he asked. I had to give him credit, he was desperately trying to understand the crazy that was me.
No matter how angry or hurt I still felt, I needed to be honest about my feelings. I knew deep in my heart that Luke was in Boggy Creek to rekindle our relationship, and for me, things hadn’t changed. I loved him more than anything, but a life with him wasn’t something I was sure I could do.